How do you attract guys that want more than just sex?

I feel like lately I have been attracting more guys than ever, but the problem is that all of them only want sex. I am not into one night stands and am looking for someone to date and maybe eventually get into a relationship with, but I can't seem to find any guys like that. Is there something I am doing that is screaming hook-up? I am meeting them through friends or friends of friends, so its not even that I am meeting them all at bars. And I don't dress or act slutty, so I am really confused. Does anyone have any advice on how to stop attracting these kinds of guys and find the kind that want to actually date?


Most Helpful Guy

  • The problem is your age, or rather, the age of the guys you are dating. Remember that 16-25 are a man's sexual peak years, when his urge for sex is at its most powerful, and when his body is (usually) in peak form, so sex is constantly on his mind.

    Then, if he's in college, as many guys are during those years, he's got a ton of single, age-appropriate women around him, many of whom are insecure and desperate for attention, who will sleep with a guy just to get him to spend some time with her. Any guy with decent looks and a bit of confidence can find plenty of girls to have sex with, and most of them take full advantage of that, and it tends to skew their perceptions, so they figure they can treat ALL girls like that.

    Obviously, that's not how you roll, so that forces you to have to filter out the guys who just want sex, and at that age, that's going to be nearly all of the guys who have the courage and confidence to make an approach on you. There are plenty of guys who are interested in a real relationship and would be more respectful, but those guys tend to be shy and lack confidence so even if they like you, they won't approach you, just assuming that they can't compete against the other guys they see hitting on you.

    So, either you sleep with these popular/confident guys quickly and be FWB (which you don't want), or you need to date the shy, geeky guys, date older, more mature guys, take the time to sort though all the confident guys to find the one or two decent ones, or remain single. That's the reality, and what most girls your age are dealing with.


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What Guys Said 3

  • Let me tell you this. You KNOW who those guys are and where they are, you just aren't attracted to them. There are MANY guys that want to date and be with only one girl. Many girls just make excuses and don't give guys chances. Then those guys change into what many girls are attracted to.

    And to you, what is "dating"? Being exclusive? Fun? Hanging out? It's not that many guys only want sex. There are many guys that want to do what I just described. Those type of guys just aren't chosen to be with, plain and simple...

  • Maybe its the way you carry yourself, dress, or speak.

    If you want the horndogs to go away you need to make it clear in every aspect that you want more then a hookup.

    You do this by:

    Not showing too much skin

    Not flirting with every guy you meet

    And talking to guys ina way that emphasizes how intelligent you are.

    Doing this will attract the right guy for you.

  • You might try online dating. If you use a paid site, you might be more likely to meet men who are serious. You should also tell your friends to stop setting you up with that kind of person.

    • Okay cupid is really good , I met my fianc� on there. I've tried match and eharmony, they suck... but okay cupid you can specify what your looking for specifically... I one night stand.. a virgin... an long term boyfriend.. act

What Girls Said 1

  • Say your a virgin. The ones that just want sex.. they go away.

    • This is true most of the time. But there are still a few who continue to try just because they think they can talk you into it.