Dating Multiple Girls at the Same Time?

My girlfriend and I mutually broke up a few months ago and I'm trying to get back into the dating scene. I've since adopted a far more casual and open attitude to dating than before.

For the first time in my life there are multiple women interested in me. I've taken both out on dates and neither one knows of the other. They are both friends and I don't see a problem with it. Our dates are not serious- just hanging out and having fun, or at least that's the way I see it. Since I just suffered a break up I'm not too excited about diving into a relationship just yet.

But listening to their conversations I am coming to realize that both girls have interests beyond friendship and I'm not sure how to handle it.

I feel horrible and dishonest in dating two different girls. I've made it clear that I'm cool with being friends but I don't think they feel the same way. What do I do?

Updates:
By friends I mean they are friends of mine. But neither girl is friends with each other.
wow. Thanks so much for the responses everyone. Very inspirational and interesting. Keep 'em comin'.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Nothing is wrong with it, people don't want to admit it or accept it, they want to think they are the only person on their mind.

    As long as you're aren't in a relationship with Girl A and Girl B ,then you're in the clear.

    You have to eventually pick and decide when they both want to have a relationship, Girl A or Girl B.

    You have to decide which one brings more to the table, Judge by this

    Attraction, - Which girl is more attractive, which girl is more beautiful, gorgeous looking.

    Personality - Which personality has the best factors that's more suiting your personal taste, For example : Sweet, Kind, Funny, Smart, Understanding and Mature,etc. Things like that, You don't want to date an immature or rude girl, unless you like that sort of thing.

    Chemistry - Which girl gets along with you the most, meaning they accept you , understand your views, opinions, lifestyle and respects them.

    Judge your girls on that and come up to a decision.

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    • So eventually he's not going to start a relationship because he wants to and feels like it's the natural thing to do next, but because it's getting serious and he'll be pressured into picking one or the other. Great approach you got there. Did it take you long to come up with this?

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    • If our views don't match, why bother say anything at all? Fair enough, you go your way, and I go my way.

    • Your way is freaking great.

What Girls Said 6

  • If they're both beginning to develop something more than friends, so something is getting lost in translation.Try not to assume they know. There are plenty of post on this site from women who are confused about what a guy means when men assume. You really need to make it PERFECTLY CLEAR that you have no interest in being anything other than friends or else you will end up hurting someone.

    Avoid using words and phrases that bring uncertainty. For example, "I'm not ready to date yet" or " I just want to be friends for now". "Yet" and "..for now" could mean you want to take things slow with them which might keep them waiting around for you.

    If I were you I'd just say, "I just want to make sure we're on the same page. I'm not looking for a girlfriend. I just got out of a relationship and I've been hanging out with different girls for fun. Are you okay with that?". If they're on the same page with you, they'll stay and continue to hang out.

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    • Oh my god yes. I got hurt over a guy who didn't clear any of that up. I WISH he had said something along the lines of the last paragraph.

    • Me and you both. If people were just clear about what they want, no one would get hurt.

  • Dating is nothing more than just that, dating. If you are dating then you can date as many people at one time if you want to. The best thing to do is just let them know up front, that you aren't looking for a relationship right now, that you're just interested in meeting people. That way, they know where you stand and they can make up their mind if they are OK with it or if they don't want to date anymore. I wouldn't call it, being friends. Really, when you go on a date you are going with someone that you have some sort of romantic interest in, which is more than a friendship but less than a committed relationship. There is no need for guilt in dating multiple people as long as they know what's going on.

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    • I have a question as I'm new to this dating world thing. Like I like a guy, but he said last night he isn't looking for a girlfriend. Okay fine, but we hung out and went to a movie before. I'd like to be friends, but you were saying that if you're going on dates then you're not friends but what about hanging out? I don't know anything, but I asked him Hey let's hang out. But I'm afraid now he won't want to hang out, even as friends, what do you do?

    • You've got it right. Hanging out is what friends do, dating is what potential partners do. You probably do a lot of the same activities in either instance. However, if you ask him to hang out, it sounds a lot more friendly than hey let's go on a date which sounds more serious. Just don't keep texting him, simply asking once to hang out is harmless. The ball is in his court so just wait to see if he responds. If he doesn't, he's not worth your time anyway!

  • When people go on dates [ different from "hanging out" ] they do it because they're interested in a relationship. When you date more people at the same time, your attention is divided. Now it'd be perfect if all relationships would develop at the same pace, but usually they don't, and then you'll find yourself stringing along a number of girls you like (you wouldn't date them if you didn't, right?) and will eventually have to let down. That's the cowardly way to go if you ask me, and no girl will appreciate being picked out of the bunch.

    Just be honest to them, like I think you'd want them to be with you.

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    • I dunno, relationship is really a fancy word for a special friendship. They begin as just that- friends. I made the precarious mistake of dating the same girl for 5 years. When I wanted to marry her she dumped me. I felt like I wasted my life. Least I can do is learn from my mistakes and meet as many people I can.

  • I feel like you should probably be honest with them, that is always the best way to be. Just being friends with both of them I think is alright but you have to make sure they understand JUST FRIENDS!

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    • They know we're just friends. I don't do anymore than hug them. But both have expressed feelings of the "future" and being together.

    • hmmmm well just make sure you are careful about that, because if things change and you do start feeling something for one of them do something about it and not lead the other one on

  • You're not wrong for doing that. If you're single then you're single, do you.

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  • 'I thought that's how dating goes..you talk to different people and sfter a while if you like one make it offical..like in TV shows a guy/ girl asks a girls/guy 'are you seeing any one else' and sometimes the girl gets made because he might be dating another woman for a longer period of time

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    • I'm 17 and haven't dated but know how it goes except I don't know if its OK for women wouldn't guys think she's easy/slutty

What Guys Said 6

  • I would assume these girls assume they are "dates". It's only natural if you are spending time with them one on one. Unless you made it clear you were just friends, then they are going to be under the wrong impression. So, you don't want to date? Is that how I understand this?

    Just tell them you're not ready to date, but would like to continue their friendship. They might understand, or might be put off. I would assume they were dates too and I'm a guy. You should clear up any confusion. If you haven't kissed them or anything it should be relatively easy to do.

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  • I think its time to choose which woman you like more..just my opinion

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    • ^pansy nice guy

    • Eh, hard to say. They are two very different women. One girl is the type I could see myself marrying. The other is the type I can see having lots of fun things to do with.

  • You don't tell them you are committed to them. And you keep dating them. That simple. Once its officially a committed relationship with one or the other... then you have to drop the other.

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  • You have to be upfront about it. How would you feel if the woman you are in love with was dating multiple dudes? You would feel duped and hurt. You have to tell them what you want upfront...

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    • I had to leave a woman who was doing this to me. No lie. It sucks but I won in the end lol

    • That happened to me before. I was always told never to put all your eggs in one basket. I learned that the hard way.

  • You're allowed to date as many girls as you want, that's why it's called dating

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    • Why all the downvotes? You are supposed to be exclusive in a relationship. But when you are dating, there is nothing wrong with dating multiple people.

  • Dating multiple girls...no way

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