Dating after a breakup, how to wait?

So my Girlfriend of 5 years and I broke up, I still have feelings for her. but recently I started thinking of another girl as someone I would like to date. We have talked to each other on several occasions over the last few years (she actually once worked with my ex). I wonder two things, how long should I wait to ask her out, and how should I go about asking her out? should I start with coffee a few times then progress or what?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • You and your X dated for 5 years, and you are considering dating her former co-worker? I would make sure that I give it at least 6 months total before pursuing someone whom your X was formerly acquainted. I know that I would be appalled if someone to whom I was commited for 5 years started dating my former co-worker.

    You should also give it at least 5 months anyway. I would give it a month for every year that you were together to move on. Long-term relationships are the most difficult to get over. Maybe you should just date very casually. To get back out there in the 'dating game'. A lot has changed in the past 5 years. Where a 'booty-call' used to be just that, a call; Now the new 'booty-call' is facebook and my space. So, be careful with your approach.

    Why don't you try calling her first to determine if she even has a mutual interest in the same things you enjoy. Women are not ready to jump into a relationship right away and you are accustomed to being in a serious long-term relationship. YOU MUST TAKE IT SLOW! Find out what she is really about and steer clear of discussions about your X; quirks; pet-peaves and concentrate on the positive things in your life. Right now, that new 'he's not into you' movie is out and that is a really good ice-breaker. Worst Case Scenario, you will laugh at a comedy and will have something to actually discuss.

    Word to the wise, Sushi is the new Coffee LOL! If you don't feel comfortable with the movie idea then try a new experience for both of you. Ice Skating, rollerskating. Skip going to the bar, other guys will try to pick her up.

    Most importantly, after 5 years are you completely over your X? Cause if you are NOT, then the first girl you begin seeing will be screwed over because she will be the rebound girl. Maybe you should go out with someone else if you really are interested in the new girl. If you mess over your X's former co-worker, they will have something to say about you and it won't be good. KRL

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What Girls Said 1

  • It's all up to the person. Some wait a few months, some a few weeks. Some like to be free/relax a while without the dating worries. You don't want to ask her out too soon or you will look like she is the rebound girl. Ask her to do something you both like or something fun.

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