Hello all, thank you for your time and responses.
I was on again off again with my ex for quite some time. Both times we split, she was the on who ended it. I was pretty broken up about it. We recently tried to hang out and keep in touch, it was a little shaky.
When I tried to ask her out to lunch a few months back, she said that she was talking to someone and thought it would be inappropriate . Now, her birthday is tomorrow. I have been going back and forth about texting her happy birthday. It is such a small and silly thing to worry about...but what do you all think? There IS the chance that she is talking to some else right now, so I think if I do, I'll just be like every other guy. Thoughts? Thanks.
Most Helpful Girl
Don't do it.
The reason that trying to hang out and keep in touch is shaky is because it is just not natural. Sure, its natural to seek the company of someone you never wanted to break-up with in the first place. You still have an emotional attachment to her. But spending time together trying to be buddies or acquaintances just doesn't work. YOU still have feelings for her and she knows it. Neither one of you may be actively recognizing this, but underneath it all you know this is true.
So, don't wish her happy birthday. There is no point. I am sure she knows you are a nice person and if you ran into her you would wish her well. That is really all that you should do at this point. Purposely contacting her like family or friends would is awkward.
I remember by ex-husband wanted to take me out to lunch for our anniversary/my birthday a few months after our divorce was final. I was horrified. Talk about uncomfortable. We talk because we have a daughter together. It took about 3 years of avoiding personal stuff like that for him to finally step away from any hope we would reconcile.0