Dating a guy with a kid. He was a teen parent and we all know how I feel about them?

So I started talking to this guy and we are going out to dinner this week I'm a little excited but not going to get my hopes up anyways he is 23 and has a 4 year old son (you do the math) his son is a super cutie (I saw pics) and this guy seems really sweet and genuine and family oriented which is great. The thing that gets me is that he is a smart guy.. He is not the typical trailer trash type of person that you would expect a teen parent to be. He is into politics.. We actually talked politics and he is well spoken and seems actually intelligent... Wouldn't an intelligent person use a condom lol I'm just like shocked I want to see where it goes but I don't know I mean teen parents are just ewwy to me. But he Is an adult now so I guess it doesn't matter. I just don't get how someone so cute and smart could be so not smart enough to have a kid at 18/19... it's baffling. I may as well prepare myself since I'm sure I'll see a lot of this at planned parenthood lol

And he's pretty cute like he is super buff and looks like a total meat head but he is so smart he's like a nerd lol it's cute but I don't know it's weird that he has a kid like he just isn't the type to get someone pregnant as a teen... He's smart, smart people don't do dumb things like that

Updates:
I am definitely going to try to overlook this issue... I mean I have my own things that he would have to overlook so I guess it's a fair trade off lol... And he's REALLY cute, and I like little kids :)

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Most Helpful Guy

  • it could be he was not so smart about who he dated..a lot of that going around. That's how he would up with custody of the kid. He was smarter than she was.

    It sounds like you won't be able to get past the single dad status. You probably aren't ready to be a mother yet, so your chances with him are slim. He'll want someone who can take over that role, of course.

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    • I think they share custody, I haven't asked about that because that seems too invasive since we just started talking. I like that he is caring and a good dad but just the fact that he has a kid is so weird to me because he seems really smart and responsible.

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    • Best answer, no?

What Guys Said 3

  • Well birth control is not 100%. Neither are condoms, and even more so, condoms can break. It's happened to me a few times. Even beyond that, smart people can have a lapse in judgement. Can you tell me with absolute honesty that you've never screwed up in some aspect in your life that looking back may have been a total blunder?

    Anyway, what's done is done. He has a son, and technically he was an adult when it happened. So whatever. It's in the past. It's done. Things are how they are. He made his choices (maybe) but whatever the case, good or bad it was his choice. Just focus on the now. Just focus on who he is now. That's more important.

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    • I mean I agree, but I can safely say that no I haven't made THOSE types of mistakes. I still want to see where it goes with him but I don't know it's just weird. But he's cute so oh well.

    • Try to put it behind you. Try to leave it in the past.

  • Oh my god, you don't deserve smart people. How can you possibly talk politics, can you even pronounce politics? Good god. 'how someone so cute and smart could be so not smart enough' - sweet JESUS.

    YOU'RE talking.

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    • Not at all, Toban =] I was being excessively insulting to mirror the insulting implications that she posed in her question. Imagine what that boy would feel if he read what she had written about him? Probably something similar to what she felt when she read what I had written about her! No?

      That and ripping into the irony that she should outright judge someone for their stupidity and talking in a way that's blatantly stupid. All in all, I'm telling her not to judge, but judging her harshly!

    • *by judging her harshly, nut but

  • i wouldn't do it

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What Girls Said 4

  • You live and learn.

    The guy's probably this smart, caring, great guy BECAUSE of having a child in his late teens, not despite it. People make mistakes when they're young, or accidents can happen- but at least you know he's the kind of guy to step up to the mark and do the honorable thing.

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  • Everyone can make mistakes, he made one. It sounds like you're not ready for a relationship like this, could you really handle having to put a kid first? Because the fact of the matter is that the kid is there, and will always be a huge part of your relationship. If you can't get past it, or past this "He's smart, smart people don't do dumb things like that" mentality, then just walk away, make it easier on the both of you and accept that this won't work, cause the kid isn't going anywhere.

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    • I mean I have dated guys with kids before, they just weren't... 18/19 when their kid was conceived and born. I guess I just have REALLY strong feelings about teen pregnancy so dating his would be like idk... I want to date him but he obviously wasn't responsible then so what makes me think he will be responsible now? Even though I am responsible and I'm not a teen so I would never be a teen mom

    • You sound like an arrogant bitch... Stop judging him and let him go. You can't press your mentality on someone you claim to like. It doesn't sound like you like him THAT much

    • I just met him and I like what I know so far except the irresponsible fact that he has a 4 year old child at 23

  • Accidents happen despite the level of intelligence of people. I agree with you that nowadays there's enough information to try and prevent them but they happen, nevertheless. You shouldn't label teen parents automatically as dumb people, doesn't sound that fair.

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  • condoms can break you know... or maybe the girl said she was on birth control and didn't take it correctly.

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    • If you are using BOTH a pregnancy is really unlikely. If she didn't take her BC correctly then she's an idiot... It's not that hard to take BC just saying.

    • guys don't like wearing condoms because it doesn't feel as good for them, so if the girl said she was on birth control he probably trusted her if they were in a relationship... I know it's not that hard to take a pill, but it's not 100% effective & doesn't work for everyone... plus if she was sick or on antibiotics it stops the pill working, not everyone knows that. You shouldn't call people dumb when you don't know the real story. accidents happen & they probably love their son.

    • I know he loves his son of course, but I knew all of those things before I got on BC. I also made the person I was having sex with use condoms if you can't take responsibility for yourself then that's pretty sad. I am still going to go out with him and see where it goes but that doesn't change the facts.

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