Why do girls have a tendency to leave a guy so early on?

It's happened to me a handful of times and to other guys I know as well. The guy will meet a new girl, who is completely infatuated with him (sometimes borderline obsessive), things are going great, then after a few weeks she breaks up with him. She'll be head over heals one second, and gone the next.

So how is it people can have a change of heart sometimes literally over night? Are girls emotions just fickle like that, where you can wake up one day and feel completely different about somebody or something than they did before?

BTW I do realize there are multiple factors and reasons why a girl might leave a guy early on (or in general) so it can be a case by case thing. But just answer based on your experience, like what was the reason you left the guy if you did this yourself or if a friend of yours did it.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • It's not just chicks that do that ... there are guys who are like that too. In fact, I think the're practically their own personality type. I call them "The Romantifiers" ...

    These people are so crazy when something is new. They don't use their brains, they thrive on "winning" a relationship, rather than actually getting to know that person and building a strong foundation. They pick out a couple of traits they like, make up the rest and future-fake an imaginary fantasyland that they could build with this imaginary person. Also, attraction causes chemicals like dopamine to soar, leaving people with a giddy feeling like a cocaine high.

    Then reality sets in. They can't live with who the real person is. They want the fantasy, not the good, the bad and the ugly.

    There are other, even worse people who see the opposite gender as a "role-filler" too. They don't really love, they only find people to fill a selfish role. Often, these people fake enthusiasm and kindness to get the result they want.

    Either way, that's why it's better to be prudent in romance. People who are head-over-heels at first are either infatuated (this is your brain on love dope) or manipulating you. People who are happy to get to know you and actively work to see if you are a good couple are much better.

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    • good answer and I think you're right. I will say this though (as a girl you will probably disagree), but I think this mindset is a bit more prevalent in women. The reason being, women are more emotional then men, and are more likely to get that new love giddy feeling you describe, that isn't really based off of anything. Men are a bit better at stepping back and using logic to assess a situation. Not saying we're perfect, just a bit better. A man who does this was likely just using the girl.

    • Show All
    • Men are not emotionless this is true, but I have read many things that does state that males tend to think more analytically when it comes to decision making. We weight out the pros and cons and reason out what we should do. Women are more likely to throw this approach aside and simply do the follow your heart sort of thing. This is not absolute, but nothing is when it comes to people. It's just a generality that has been proven to be true by the psychological community. There are exceptions.

    • I really think it boils down to WHAT kind of decisions are being made, when it comes to comparisons. If there is a statistical difference on how men and women make relationship decisions, I think the overlap is very strong. Stronger than most other male-female differences that are scientifically proven.

What Girls Said 3

  • What did you do that make them leave?

    What are your bad traits that they find in you later on and leave you because of it?

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    • Nothing that I can think off. I had a girl once by me a gift after about a month of dating. She called it a "just want to show you how much you mean to me gift". A week later, she says she doesn't think she has feelings anymore and wants to break up. How do you go from one extreme to the next so fast like that?

    • Well , you didn't do anything wrong? you didn't hurt her? maybe she heard something? or someone played with her mind? she found some stuff in you which is a deal breaker?

      I think you should ask her this, not me.

    • This was a long time ago. Just using it as an example. That particular girl really was just borderline crazy, my point is however, I've even see it happen to friends. I guess this is an unfair questions since its so circumstantial. Irregardless, rarely do I see men do these one month in break ups unless he was only in it for the sex to begin with, in which case, he wouldn't be acting head over heals for the girl. I don't know who cares.

  • They probably get turned off because you're borderline obsessive with them.

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  • Well in the few relationships that I have been in neither were short. The first one I dated was for over a year and the second was for 10 months!

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What Guys Said 0

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