Can you go on a "date" with someone and not be attracted to them?

Have you ever been on a forced date? A friend of mine (who I really like) was telling me how he went out on a double date for valentines day because his friend had a girlfriend and she had a friend who was dateless who wanted a date. So my crush (let's call him Bob) ended up going with his friend and coupling up with the single girl (let's call her Sue). Do people actually do that? I've never really heard of that. Everyone says that he really likes me. He even asked me to hang out with him and asked for my number. But now I'm confused because he pulled this little stunt but said he wasn't even interested in this girl. Opinions? Advice? Do people do this?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Ugh... I've been on those dates and it SUCKS! I feel like I'm always that fallback single girlfriend everybody likes to keep in their back pocket. Hey, my cousin is in town want to go to dinner and even out the table? Hey, I you should meet my boyfriend's friend so we can all double date. The worst is when I ran into a guy that used to live in my complex (we used to chat whenever we saw each other at the pool or mailbox) begged me to be his date for his company Christmas party. I went and he introduced me as his girlfriend! Soooo awkward but I just played along with a smile on my face. All you can do is be a good sport about it until it's over. If you're questioning if this means he doesn't like you then don't. I don't know what he's waiting for in asking you out (if he does like you) but him going on a sympathy couples date shouldn't factor in. He did it for his friend, not the girl.

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    • He did ask me out actually and for my number too. We were supposed to hang out yesterday but I was really sick so I had to cancel.

    • That sucks... =/ Damn flu season! I say give him a chance, forget this valentine's day date didn't happen unless you want to make a joke out of it. It sounds like he likes you and thought nothing of this date or he wouldn't be telling you about it. When you're feeling better tell him you're ready to redeem your rain check. If you it goes well you won't have to worry about him being tagged for sympathy dates because he will no longer be the single go to guy!

What Guys Said 5

  • Yes, I've been on something similar and it was kind of a hell for me (girls weren't that good compared to the girl my friend was going for). I did it for the sake of my friend not going by himself, but didn't expect it to turn out so horribly :\.

    But still I went through it and endured it till the end, was tough but didn't want to just get up and leave my friend alone.

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  • never done it

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  • if you watched what I like about you, the show with amanda and jennie, there was an episode where amanda went on an outing with her best "friend" at the end of the night she wound up saying "thanks for the great date" he said "wow, you said date" so then she said "yeah, I guess I did" and then she gave him a kiss on the cheek

    i know its only a show

    but I guess it kinda proves that it can happen (cause she wound up not dating him anyway)

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    • Hmmm.. well this girl is his best friend's girlfriend's best friend. Apparently, this girl wanted a date too so his friend suggested doubling up for fun. He did end up texting me on vday and wishing me a happy valentines day though. I just hope I'm not falling for a player. :/

    • Show All
    • Falling for a player?, no

    • Okay good. These answers are making me feel a lot better.

  • yes I've been on a date where I wasn't attracted to the girl, but no I've never been forced on a date.

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  • yes, if the guy feels that he doesn't have a shot with you. He may like you but feels that you have not given him any indication that you do like him. My suggestion would be that you pursue him, make it obvious and if all else fails; ask him if he is interested? Good Luck!

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What Girls Said 4

  • Yes, they do. The thing about a date is that you want to see if you could find something out or to see the person beyond the appearance. Meaning, a guy might be a dork and a girl might be weird, but I ASSURE you, there's ALWAYS something in there that's more than meets the eye. THAT is the reason for dating. Of course, don't go for a second date if you didn't find anything valuable at the first date. That could lead your date into thinking, "Oh! S/he likes me enough to go on a second date!". That spells bad in the future 'cause they could blame you for leading them on or deceiving them. Now, don't believe everything other people say. Because people say things just to make others feel better. Try to "feel" this guy out and if he makes you a priority among other things, then consider the thought that he just might like you. :)

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  • I can honestly say I've never gone on a date with someone I didn't like. I've accepted an invite, but once I realized my feelings, came clean to them (within a reasonable amount of time before the date.) I think younger people would have a difficult time with this, but it's all part of adult relationships. And you should never go on a "pity date", it will just make the other person feel worse when you come clean. Better to nip it in the bud.

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  • girl, that just means he went out with Sue because of pity. If he's feeling you, then he's feeling you. Sue has nothing to do with your relationship with Bob. Obviously he wants you and not Sue. Bob was just being polite and helping a friend but that shouldnt affect the way you feel about him, or the build up relationship that's going on.

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  • If the guy has assets, then yes I would give him a chance for a date even if I wasn't really attracted to him.

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