Better to overdo it or underdo it when hanging out with a new girlfriend?

This girl was a close friend of mine for a long time before we started dating. Thus far things are going surprisingly well, a lot of our friends didn't think this would a) ever happen or b) last longer than a week, but we've spent a great deal of time together the last week and for the most part it's been a great way to spend said time.

Thing is we've hung out 5 of the last 7 days. Twice on legit dates, three times from just wanting to grab food or something on the go. She's coming over tonight cause we hit a sudden bout of intimacy before we actually even did what we'd set out to do that night (make a massive cake for a party tomorrow night), and I gotta admit I'm a little nervous that we might be seeing each other too much right now.

We never used to hang out this much, and though I know I deeply care for this girl I'm worried it'll get 'boring' to her as we get more familiar. The last time I dated someone I feel like the same thing happened, where I got too attached and spent far too much time with them... and while it was fun at the time it probably burned things out before they should have been.

There's the other problem though of 'she's moving out in 3 days time' back home, and I won't see her again for about a month after that. Am I overdoing things? Or just overthinking it?


Most Helpful Girl

  • go with the flow. if you pull back artificially, you'll seem confusing & communication will suck. if you guys are agreeing to hang out, mutually, then you can't be 'overdoing' it.

    just because things didn't work out before, doesn't mean you were overdoing it. if someone likes you, its not going to seem like too much. when you guys agree to something, its mutual, otherwise the person has a bi polar disorder.

    That other girl, she wasn't properly into you.

    its not absurd to tell her, you like spending time with her, but you're concerned itll be overwhelming. see what she thinks.

    biggest relationship problem, is lack of communication, & lack of respect. its demeaning, to go making decisions for other people. let her make up her mind.


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What Girls Said 2

  • Right now I wouldn't worry too much about it considering in 3 days she'll be back home! No her for a month?! heeh Just have fun!

  • Maybe she's trying to spend as much time wth you as possible before you have to spend a month apart. That makes sense.


What Guys Said 2

  • The more you hang out..the higher the chances are that you will rush into rejection. Why haven't you learned from the last relationship? You're exactly're interest level was too high..and you burned her out...and her interest level dropped. Must exercise PATIENTS...CHALLENGE...SELF CONTROL...AND MYSTERY.


    • Yeah. structured women with bad attitudes..and low self esteem call it playing games. You don't know what I mean by patients...challenge..self control..and mystery...but you like guys who have these traits...though you will NEVER admit it.

  • UNDERDO IT! Move very very slow!