Do you date for longterm or short term?

I just found out this guy wants to take me out on a date, but I've been so hesitant with dating, only because I see no point in dating someone if the relationship will most likely be temporary.

My roommate is like, you can't tell if a relationship will last or not. Just go on a date with him and enjoy the ride.

That statement scares the hell out of me - I have a hard time just "enjoying the ride" if the outcome doesn't yield plausible results, I see no point in putting in the effort to achieve nothing.

Lol I'm probably way over thinking this. But this is also my very first official date if I decide to go ( I've been on a few others, but not wholesomely one on one, or with someone who I might actually click with,) it's kind of scary.

Plus I've seen so many relationships fail around me and people hating each other - ugh I don't know if I should even get involved with anyone now? He's older and pretty mature for his age, but still...idk. He's a drug dealer ( don't get the wrong idea, he's not stereotypical, just does it to help pay through school Because his parents don't help at all,) so I worry about any legal issues too.

Ugh, there is always a freakin catch with the guys I meet I swear lol.

So what would you do? And do you usually date in hopes of a lasting realtionship or just a temporary one for the fun of having a relationship?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Sure it's true that you can't necessarily tell if something will last, but if you're not into the person somewhat from the start it will most probably not last. There has to be some attraction and chemistry in my opinion to want to date them in the first place. They don't have to be perfect, but there has to be enough there for me to want more... For a random pretty girl I have a quick chat with somewhere, one date will give me an idea of if I want to date her. For someone I see in my regular life, I can figure out if they are date worthy before the first one.

    As to the enjoy the ride mentality... Well the ride can be bumpy with the wrong person. lol. You also should not lead people on you are really not into. Most girls I would ask on dates now a days, would be because I think they have potential to possibly be a long term prospect.

    It depends on what you are looking for... Some people want to have causal flings to get a little sex, and have some companionship for a little while. Some people want a relationship. You're the only one that can figure out what you want.

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    • Yea, I definitely haven't led him on, he doesn't even know I know lol he told a friend of mine he wanted to date me, and she slipped up and told me :P But yea, I definitely have to figure out what I really want first

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    • He he she totally did :P I was shocked it was him, as I couldn't even fathom him wanting to date me lol, I really thought he liked her instead lol

      But yea, your so right. I think I'm going to get to know him a little better before any suggested romantic stuff, just to have an idea of what I'm getting into.

      Hope you find your girl ^^

    • Thank you. =)

What Guys Said 1

  • Long term is my intention. It rarely happened until I met one girl. And we did date for the long term. Then I married her.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Personally, I look for something long term and meaningful. If a guy asks me on a date and I know there isn't any chemistry between us I wouldn't waste my time. A lot of my friends would just to be "nice" which I think is ridiculous.

    Honestly there's no sense of being scared of commitment, the best thing you can do if wait for someone who you actually have a connection with and has potential for a long-term relationship.. but on the other hand it is a good idea to go on dates and get a feel for what type of guy you like.

    .. please don't get involved with drug dealers, that's just bad news and will only cause you problems. "Don't get the wrong Idea..", "he just does it to pay through school.." that doesn't make it right. I seriously question his maturity.

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    • Yea I've been wanting to wait. I know it doesn't make it right, but he almost got kicked out of school for financial issues - he also works a normal job but it wasn't enough. School is expensive. He is quite mature, just because he sells drugs doesn't mean he's some immature prick. The guy has a good head on his shoulders - just not in the best situation. You do what you have to to survive sometimes. Not everyone comes from money. But yea, I think dating is better for the long term

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