How do I text him back without scaring him off? I just want to be casual.

On Friday I inadvertently ended up making out with a 21 year-old Marine in a bar. I'm 26 and typically don't participate in such behavior but he was way hot so I thought whatever! We made tentative plans to hang out on Wednesday (He lives in the suburbs and I live in the city so logistics weren't the easiest). Saturday during the day I was out with friends drinking and was on my home around 8pm. He somehow got me to agree for him to come to the city to "watch a movie". He was supposed to be at my house around 10 but because of construction and poor directions, he didn't end up at my house til 1am... we watched about 10 minutes of the movie and then ended up hooking up. The next day he slept til after noon! I was eventually like... okay I can't lay here anymore... so we ended up hooking up again. Then we ended up getting something to eat (I tried to phrase it as like you can go, no big deal). I pretty much had accepted that this was a weirdly long hookup. During lunch we sort of made plans to hang out on the original Wednesday to go to an art museum. Sunday he leaves my house around 4pm and texts me when he gets home... Wednesday rolls around and I hear nothing. So at like 1pm on Wednesday I text and say "Hey! how's your week going?" Trying to be super casual... radio silence. Until that night at 1:15 AM when he says "Hey sorry I didn't get back to you... what's up". Now I'm not even sure that I like this guys but he's super hot and I'd like to see him again and casually date him, nothing serious. How do I approach this without scaring him off?


Most Helpful Girl

  • If you were really interested in "casually" dating him, you wouldn't give to sh*ts about scaring him off. And you say you're not even sure if you like this kid, but you're question was too long to deny that you really do. Listen, there's nothing wrong with that and as a woman, I've been right where you are at...On the verge of just booty call status and it sounds to me like that's where this is headed IF YOU LET IT.

    You want to get this guys attention? Try NOT answering his 11pm texts. I promise he knows exactly what he's doing. Don't contact him the next day either, and if he texts you again you can reply but keep it short, flirty and fun. He WILL ask to see you again and tell him that you've made plans or are just going to have a glass of wine and curl up with a good book or movie. DO NOT let him come over...even if you're dying to get laid again :) Let him "work" to make alternate plans with you that include daylight hours. If you keep things light and fun and flirty, but not give in to his late night cravings, he'll know you're different. And different is good :)


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What Guys Said 1

  • I doubt anything not involving a weapon will scare him off iff you want to continue this kind of affair..!


What Girls Said 1

  • Sounds like he wants to keep it a very casual thing, as in only hook ups not really dates. Although him hanging out on Sunday until about 4 is very weird. Maybe formal dates make him nervous? I find it strange that he was 3 hours late for your movie night and then bails on a date but texts you again around the same time. Sounds like hook up only territory to me.