Not being friend zoned?

I'll set up the background. I've been going to school with this girl for 9 years now, and we've always just been classmates. I've always been attracted to her, but never to the point where I've tried to pursue her. We are now seniors in high school, and are going to the same college. I figured that this is my chance to get what I want. She is spending the next 4 years with me, and I want to make them count. Here is the problem. She has a boyfriend... who goes to school in Illinois. It is one thing now that she is in high school and he's in college, but when they are both in college I don't think she will make it very far in a long distance relationship with someone in Illinois. In either case, I want to make sure that during this period where she is still with her boyfriend, I don't get friend zoned so that when and if she gets out of it (or even before, although that is not how I usually like to do things), I am able to go in for the kill. How do I go about making sure I do not get friend zoned? Should I just keep the contact with her minimal until/if they break up? If I should keep in contact with her, what should I avoid?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • To not get friendzoned be as flirty as possible. And I know this sounds horrible, but be mean sometimes or not 'the goodguy'. Sometimes the phrase nice guys finish last can be true. But you have to do it right, don't make her hate you. You have to be nice almost all the time and do very cute things to make up for your a**hole-ness. So just be nice whenever you are with her, and really flirty, then just ignore her and say a (subtle) and snarky remark, then the next time you see her be really sweet. It'll confuse her. But it works.

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What Girls Said 1

  • This is just my little side lecture, but there's nothing saying she and her boyfriend won't stay together. I stayed in a long term relationship through college. Now I've graduated and we're still together.

    That aside, just be friendly with her. Ask her to study with you or grab a bite to eat at the dining hall between classes and check out cool things to do on/around your campus. Also, if she gets homesick, you can be a comfort to her since you were part of her pre-college world.

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    • That last part sounds like things a friend would do

    • I come from the school of a good guy friend makes a good boyfriend. My boyfriend and I were best friends for a few years before we started dating. All of my female friends who currently have boyfriends were friends with their boyfriends first. I kind of don't believe in the "friendzone" as a bad place, but more of a stepping stone to a relationship.

      I also hate guys who play mind games or try to manipulate the situation to get what they want. Can't speak for your friend, though.

What Guys Said 2

  • Sounds like you're already friendzoned.

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  • Here's the thing with the death of the high school relationship in college: It's rarely as clean as, "let's break up. Ok, now I'm single. Time to assess the dating options." More likely it ends at a big weekend party when she ends up gettting drunk and getting with a guy and THEN dumps the old one. So if you're not there (and the cause) it's likely you'll miss your window. Good luck.

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