Did I just ruin things?

I have been dating this guy for a couple of weeks now. He recently invited me on a third date, a premier to a midnight film. Because of the time I told him I wasn't going to be able to make it without giving him an explanation why. :( Later that night at the last minute, my friend invites me to celebrate her 21st birthday. He finds out through FB that I did go out that night. I didn't hear from him in a day, and lately I have been noticing that he has been talking less to me. I told him the next day That I wished I could've gone but it was my friend's birthday, and he said he understood. But why am I hearing less from him when he used to text me everyday and now he texts every other day. Did I ruin things or is this normal?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I second Dre. You should never lock him out of the loop like that. To change his plans that he was emotionally invested in at the last minute, then have fun with someone else, and not see it important to let him know all the details, is the same in his mind as if you curb stomped his face into the pavement for no reason and then prostituted yourself to the entire football team.

    Sure, you didn't sleep with anyone for real, but the spirit of infidelity is there; and it has not escaped his notice. This will most definitely prove a learning experience for you; and I beg of you to learn as much as you possibly can from this. There are girls in my past who are now really messed up; but who after 14 years, adamantly refuse to learn their lesson with any man. I fear they are beyond hope; but that's my horror story. Don't let it become yours.

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What Guys Said 5

  • Well I agree with everyone here who says you should have told him about it. I would be pretty pissed if you cancelled last minute and went out with your friends... even if it was for her birthday. Its the fact you did not tell him and you did it so last minute. You need to tell him your sorry and really make it up to him if you truly care for him.

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  • If I were him, I would feel really bad and felt like she rejected me hard. Depending on the guy, some people like planning ahead of time, and sudden change like that isn't that great.

    I would also feel like she found something more fun and left me in the dumpster, and considers me a backup plan. I would not like a girl with that kind of personality.

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  • He must be butthurt over the fact that you went without really telling him your plans. You could try making it up to him.

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  • Yep you ruined things. Time to move on!

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  • Ouch... If I were him id probably stop initiating anything..

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What Girls Said 2

  • If you really liked him you wouldn't have cancelled him like that. He just feels bad because you are acting like that girl player who tells a guy she likes him and then turns around and ignores him. Next time try and be real and most importantly, keep your word. Then he will respect you

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  • He probably thinks you aren't interested. I don't think you "ruined" things, but I think that now you have to take the active role and initiate things with him, to let him know you are actually keen to get to know him. Try set up another date, and when you're on it explain what happened to him.

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