Do I stand a chance?

I've been seeing a great guy for 3 months and we have a lot in common, do theatre together, have awesome conversations (politics, religion family guy), good sex, we text everyday with jokes, etc. he says "i'm incredible, amazing, he's lucky I'm in his life and I'm one of 2 really good things things that happened to him in 2008, we exchanged Xmas gifts and he's open with me about his past. anyway, v-day wasn't really a big deal for us, he just wished it to me the day after (he had to work). his last girlfriend verbally abused and pushed him and he admitted to still being hurt by it, said he doesn't wanna rush into things but is open and likes where me and him are going. we only chill once a week and only text though. I sense he is keeping distance as to how hurt he was and that he's busy and 30 years old. Also, he seems a bit emotionally unstable to me . he told me to feel secure that I'm not being used , he knows there's a lot to me and we have a connection and I always make him laugh. he even admitted to holding back emotionally. I see he's not yet ready but do you think I should stick around? he said he's not seeing anyone else. I'm also the 1rst girl he liked since his ex. do I stand a chance of him asking me out? does it seem like its moving good or he is bullshitting to use me as rebound?


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What Guys Said 1

  • He might need some time. Keep doing what you're doing but don't lock in with just him. He needs to realize that if he's not emotionally stable for you that someone will be and that is what you are looking for. Also it helps if you talk to him and let him know how you're feeling. Let him know that the past is the past and that you two should be focusing on the now, and possibly future? ;)

    Just take it easy hon, things will work out, you're still young and beautiful :D

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    • Thanks, I just wanna know if I'm wasting my time. I want honesty is all. my friens said I shpuld put my foot dwn with him and ask him to hang out on a day aside from the one we suaully chill on. if he can't sacrifice his other plans; then I can tell him "hey I would like to see you more but it seems your always busy, I need a little more respect for you" I feel he's a bit in control. I wanna reverse it, how can I do that? or should I NOT be demanding and let him be?

    • Thats fine, you have every right to ask for a day like that. If he can't commit then its not worth it. You do deserve respect and you do deserve the attention you seek, why else would you be in a relationship right?

      Just talk to him and be honest, and ask for his opinion on the matter :)

    • Thanks. I guess I'm just afraid of the results. ever since v-day, he seems distant. we texted yesterday (I initiated) and he asked me how I was and told me his was busy and told me what he was doing and that he was with family. but then he doesn't text me at all today, which is weird and not like him. I wonder if he's even interested anymore

What Girls Said 1

  • Hmm

    First you have to ask yourself this question. Do you REALLY want a man who's emotionally unstable/unavailable, doesn't call, has a traumatic dating past, and is too busy to spend time with you? Us women always make excuses for guys. I've definitley done it. But the point is to realize when you're blinding yourself from the truth. You seem like a confident girl, you can do better. Let him sort out his issues first and continue to keep your options open for other guys. Put this guy on the back burner for a bit while he figures himself out and what he really wants.

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    • I feel like he's being a bit selfish. I don't think he's doing it on purpose though. he wants to be distant but hasn't really been so clear with me.

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