I am a 24 year old guy. I am good looking and I have never even kissed a girl.

I recently told my brother that I have never even kissed a woman and he was just telling me how sorry he felt for me. He wasn't being mean. He was just looking me in the eyes for a while and telling me how he just simply couldn't believe it. It shocked him. One of the main reasons it shocked him is because I am honestly a good looking person. I have a good balanced masculine/ feminine face. I am 5 feel 11 inches tall with a full head of hair. I have perfect teeth and cute smile. I even give off that adorable shy guy vibe that is so cute because he looks kind of nervous. I also give off the vibe of someone who is mysterious. Not in that creepy way though. People see me as basically quiet, smart, and nice.

Anyway my problem is that women may come on to me or try to start a conversation but I immediately act oblivious to what they're doing because I have this deep fear I am going to end up terribly unhappy just like most people in this world are. I am not a guy who goes to clubs at all. I just don't do it. I don't smoke, take drugs, and I only drink alcohol about 5 or 6 days A MONTH.

So I don't have any major problems like that but I do keep people at a distance because I have a fear that I will end up unhappy. I see people in this world who try so hard and they still seem so unhappy in their relationship. So I stay away from relationships. So much so that I haven't even kissed or touch a woman.

I need an outside perspective. From what you have heard so far what do you think I need to do. Just help me. I will appreciate any constructive/ destructive criticism. That was a joke. Kind of.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Cool. I think that's cute.

    Anyway, I'm sure you've got guy friends. Try and maybe have one of them recommend a girl for you since they know your character and what kind of person you would be compatible with. You're obviously looking for a long term relationship but just know that if it doesn't work out, its not always a bad thing and if you realize it now, you'll realize it some day.

    This might sound sexist but there are more good girls in the world than good guys so I don't think you should have any trouble. I say this because generally speaking, the world has a greater population of females than males :p

    Don't let fear hold you back, a girl isn't going to throw herself onto you. Girls give hints, you need to take more initiative. Rejection is a part of life, it makes you stronger if anything.

    There is nothing wrong with being shy. You seem like you would be really loyal to your girl... she's out there but you gotta at least TRY to look for her.

    There is a chance you might end up unhappy but if you don't TRY then you WILL end up unhappy.

    Good Luck!

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What Girls Said 5

  • Maybe you could just make more friends, and you could find someone that way. It's okay to have trust issues, everyone has them at one point or another. It's okay to be afraid because everyone gets scared. Not trying to sound like your mommy or anything, just saying.

    I kind of feel the same way as you, but I know that I'd love to be friends with a guy first, that way I'd know that I could trust him, and I would know if we could make it work and be happy. I know that it's not exactly 100% foolproof, but it's a good a plan as any, right?

    So, my advice to you is to just find a couple of close friends, and see where that takes you.

    I'm not exactly Oprah, but I figured it might be worth a shot.

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  • This is completely nothing to be worried about !

    You always have time to be with a woman. And you are right most people that have relationships early such as myself end up broken hearted. First I think you need to get a wing woman, a girl that you can rely on but there are no sexual feelings for than I think you need to go out one night and try to get some numbers. If you are nervous when they come up to you just think would I really want to kiss this woman?

    As far as the drinking/drugs go CONGRADS all that stuff is nasty and maybe guys that do that stuff are "fun" to hang out with but no girl wants to end up with someone like that ! If you feel that you are ready put yourself out there and just have fun with it. If you are not ready try getting some friends that are females and try to ease yourself with them so you can get the touch!

    ---> You have nothing to worry about =] Good Luck !

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  • You just need to socialize and the rest of it will tell you the answer.

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    • Yeah I do need to socialize more and not be so isolated. That is why I have significantly lowered by time playing video games and have changed that time to train for running a marathon. :) Lets see what comes of it. Who knows?

  • I we advice you to try out the world-love, it is the happiness of the life we are living, get to know someone special, and then you will know the difference between being alone or being with a female, have fun with someone and you will enjoy kissing her without nobody advice you to do so.

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  • I don't think that it says anything bad about your looks or personality, I suppose it's just that you're so afraid things won't turn out well that it stops you from attempting to make a move or let anyone get close. Not every encounter will end in a perfect relationship, but that's the whole point in dating, to find out what works best. So just try to relax, let women chat you up and let them take the lead if you aren't sure what to do, just keep giving them cues that you're interested...just get to know them and you may be surprised!

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    • Yeah I tend to find if I don't have anything interesting to say I end up sounding like an idiot. I just wish people weren't very uncomfortable from silence. :/ Not long silences but I just mean pauses.

    • I know what you mean. Maybe try thinking of ways to fill up pauses so that they don't seem too awkward. A shy smile, conversation starters for new topics, getting up to buy her a drink. What I find helps sometimes is playing out different situations and conversations in your head (at times when you're by yourself, for example when you're about to fall asleep), and imagine what you would do and say. It makes you more comfortable with those situations when you actually come across them.

What Guys Said 3

  • you don't know happiness till you've been with your first love. trust me.

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  • Aren't you already terribly unhappy? You are unhappy outside a relationship and have never had one so how do you know you will be unhappy in one like everyone else? Also, what makes you feel like everyone in relationships is unhappy? I think you just need to loosen up and go with it when a girl talks to you. It may be hard for a shy guy trust me I know, but the only way it's ever going to happen is if you stop being afraid and open up. It's not all about looks, women love confidence in a man and you don't seem to exude it. You keep saying you are afraid of ending up unhappy, but if you stay on this path you will end up even more unhappy than people in failed relationships. Someone once told me that you never regret the things you did, only the things you didn't do.

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    • Hmmm that last line has me thought provoked...Also, I am very aware that I will be unhappy if I don't even try to get in a relationship. I am so lonely and yet I don't do anything. I feel like something is being built up inside me and one day it's going hit upon me like an epiphony. Maybe I am just a pussy. Anyway, thanks for your input.

    • I think the key here is for you to not get down on yourself. NEVER feel sorry for yourself, because no one else ever will. You just gotta stay patient, someday everything will click and you will find what you are looking for.

  • think about it this way. If you keep doing what you're currently doing, you'll end up alone. Will that make you happy, or unhappy?

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    • All I got to say is go out with anyone that invites to social places. I had the same issue. I don't drink much though. I have kissed a girl and done other stuff but I know what ur talking about. the main thing you have to get rid of is ur shyness. I still get shy when a girl talks to me but got over most of it when I started talking back. Since then I've had my issues with girls but I'm trying even harder now to know as many girls as possible. I ainght no player nor will I ever be. I was asked yes

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