Straight forward question but first I am not trying to change this guy at all the only thing I have done was be myself so...
My friend says that I always go for "nice guys" ((to like mess around with)) She said that what I really need is a jerk lol so she set me up with this guy who is supposedly a big jerk so that we can mess around with no feelings and stuff ((because seriously every guy that I have messed around with before the "nice guys" always get feelings for me when I don't want any of that)) but ya she set me up with this guy and he is acting all nice buying me dinner and everything and when I asked her she said she doesn't know why he is acting that way all shy like because he has never done anything like that before
so what gives here?
Most Helpful Guy
I don't know what your story has to do with your initial question, so I will answer both.
@Changing a guy - Honestly, no. Not intentionally anyway. A guy may bend to what a woman wants, but he is still going to be the same person. Just because he does/stops doing something on request and keeps doing so out of habit/respect for you, does not mean that he has changed as a person, in his desires, intentions, or anything else. He only does those things to please you... Most of the time. The exception is when he makes a conscious decision himself for a woman --out of love, generally-- and works to change himself. That or something major in his life changes, he has a child, someone close dies, dramatic career change, etc. or simply gradual maturity. However, none of those things that change a man fundamentally are the result of a woman's will to change a man.
@The story- He may be a jerk being nice as a means to an end, or he may be genuinely a nice caring guy to women. Either is possible. Hard to tell without knowing him. If your friend's opinion of him is based on her experience or anecdotal evidence, then a great big grain of salt should be taken with that opinion (the old phrase about 'a woman scorned' exists for a reason). He may very well just have exes spreading rumors or something of that sort.Then again, they may be right, he may be a jerk and trying to lure you into having sex with him.
Either way, as casual sex is your intended goal anyway, the solution is simple. Inform him that casual sex is all you are interested in. Tell him that if he is wanting more, then you are not interested and he should move on. However, if he is just trying to get laid, well he can stop trying so hard. It works out best for both parties, does it not? Honest communication really is the best answer in most situations.0