Do you honestly think girls have the power to change a guy?

Straight forward question but first I am not trying to change this guy at all the only thing I have done was be myself so...

My friend says that I always go for "nice guys" ((to like mess around with)) She said that what I really need is a jerk lol so she set me up with this guy who is supposedly a big jerk so that we can mess around with no feelings and stuff ((because seriously every guy that I have messed around with before the "nice guys" always get feelings for me when I don't want any of that)) but ya she set me up with this guy and he is acting all nice buying me dinner and everything and when I asked her she said she doesn't know why he is acting that way all shy like because he has never done anything like that before

so what gives here?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I don't know what your story has to do with your initial question, so I will answer both.

    @Changing a guy - Honestly, no. Not intentionally anyway. A guy may bend to what a woman wants, but he is still going to be the same person. Just because he does/stops doing something on request and keeps doing so out of habit/respect for you, does not mean that he has changed as a person, in his desires, intentions, or anything else. He only does those things to please you... Most of the time. The exception is when he makes a conscious decision himself for a woman --out of love, generally-- and works to change himself. That or something major in his life changes, he has a child, someone close dies, dramatic career change, etc. or simply gradual maturity. However, none of those things that change a man fundamentally are the result of a woman's will to change a man.

    @The story- He may be a jerk being nice as a means to an end, or he may be genuinely a nice caring guy to women. Either is possible. Hard to tell without knowing him. If your friend's opinion of him is based on her experience or anecdotal evidence, then a great big grain of salt should be taken with that opinion (the old phrase about 'a woman scorned' exists for a reason). He may very well just have exes spreading rumors or something of that sort.Then again, they may be right, he may be a jerk and trying to lure you into having sex with him.

    Either way, as casual sex is your intended goal anyway, the solution is simple. Inform him that casual sex is all you are interested in. Tell him that if he is wanting more, then you are not interested and he should move on. However, if he is just trying to get laid, well he can stop trying so hard. It works out best for both parties, does it not? Honest communication really is the best answer in most situations.

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What Guys Said 4

  • I warn you now not to toy with this supposed "big jerk". Despite his reputation it appears as if he is taking this you seriously. He is investing himself into you through both his money and time.

    Concerning your question; if the guy respects the girl I do think she has the power to change a guy. The most effective way to change someone I argue would be through example. Good luck changing someone by blatantly pointing out their flaws while still having flaws of your own.

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  • A girl can help a guy be more confident and bring out that side of him more, but beyond that, no, she's really not going to change him in any substantial way. Only he can do that, and he has to WANT to.

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    • I am not trying to change him at all I said that its just he has been acting strange around me from what the other people that know him perspective is

  • You must be gorgeous and guys can't help falling for you.

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    • thats not what I'm saying at all wow everyone is so harsh with this one question I'm genuinely confused

  • you are weird ... that's what gives here and no you can't make a guy who he's not

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    • how am I weird? I was asking a question I didn't mean for it to sound like I'm this snobby hot person cause I honestly am not ((this is why I hate computers and typing things out no one can really understand the message you are truley trying to convey its all up to their perspective of the question))

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    • it doesn't work like that ... and you get screwed over because you go for the ones who have no feelings for you

    • I go for the ones who have no feelings for me because it is just easier that way. Honestly I don't care anymore if a guy has feelings for me or not unless I truley care for them because if I do I would hope they would have the same feelings for me but because that still hasn't happened I kinda turn off having any feelings for any guy from the start

What Girls Said 1

  • no, if a guy changes his attitude it's because he wants to lol

    what I mean is, you can't really set out to change a guy, he always has to be willing if you get what I mean?

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