Hello GAG, my girlfriend of one year broke up with me a month back saying that she just wasn't happy and felt as if I didn't appreciate her. She said she felt like she had invested so much into our relationship and had lost who she was and wanted time to figure herself out.
We first met about four years ago when we went to the same high school. We began hooking up occasionally, and had on and off flings for years. Over these years it became apparent that she had really fallen for me. We became so comfortable in bed with each other and sex between us has always been AMAZING. Although we were always more than friends, we never officially dated. She was such a sweet girl but for some reason I never had the urge to date her.
For a while we didn't see each other as much when she moved an hour away after graduating high school. She had had other dates throughout our "relationship" but her and her friends always admitted it was me she truly wanted to be with. Until one day I saw she was now in an official relationship with a new man. This hurt me much more than I would have thought. We still came in contact and I confessed to her how I felt. She was upset and told me she couldn't believe I wanted her now when she was in another relationship. Regardless, we continued to talk occasionally and be there for each other (She talked to me about the problems they were having and I looked to her for support as I went through my parents divorce).
She seemed bored in the relationship and they one day called it quits. She came over to spend the night and enjoy my company. We cuddled and I comforted her. One thing led to another, and we ended up having sex. It was the first time in a while and to this day that may have been the most passionate sex I've (we've) ever had. After that night and how supportive she had been for me through my hard times, I realized we did have the potential to be great together and decided to give it a go. We dated all summer, and things seemed to be going good. I will admit that I did see a small problem with her being slightly clingy. She had wanted this for a while and looking back I feel like she kind of tried to rush my feelings to match hers. This problem became more noticeable when I started attending a real university (rather than CC) and now also feared commitment. She tried so hard to make our relationship work. She was over everyday and seemed to have devoted all her effort to me. Things got even rockier after I cheated on her over Christmas break. She forgave me and allowed me a second chance. She was so into me that I feared breaking her heart, besides I knew I had her after all these years. I began to neglect her feelings and didn't show her I appreciated the many little things she did for me. She began to act differently over the last two months before our breakup, hanging out with friends more, going out alone and getting really drunk, flirting with other guys on twitter.seecomment
Most Helpful Girl
To put it short, you blew it. She spent not just the time you were "officially dating" trying to make it work, she spent YEARS invested in you trying to make it work. The only time you were really into her is when you thought you couldn't have her anymore. When you finally did, you blew it with the cheating and neglect.
If you truly love her, you'll let her go. She deserves better, and I suspect you only want her back because you can't have her again. If you got back into the relationship, you would probably cheat and neglect her again. She's wasted so many years on you, not that this was all entirely your fault, but let her be happy now elsewhere. You obviously cannot give her what she needs even if right now you want to.1
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