Girl doesn't respond to messages/texts for days, is this normal?

First, I met this girl and we hit it off pretty well. A lot of the same interests, similar personality, similar goals, share same sense of humor, etc.; overall, we have a lot of chemistry together. So, we've been messaging back and forth, but her replies are always so short and they don't really progress the conversation. I am usually the one always asking questions to progress them. Anyway, her messages are pretty sporadic and can take days for her to respond. I didn't ask about it, but she let me know that the reason to why her messages can take so long is that she has A LOT of anxiety and is a pretty quiet/introverted person (she wanted to make sure to let me know it's not because she doesn't like talking to me). When she does respond, I usually respond within a few hours.

There is only so much waiting around I can take. Would it be a good idea to just not respond to her next reply for a few days (in order to give the impression that her untimely responses will elicit the same from me)? I really do genuinely like this girl and would love to go out with her again. I'm usually a pretty patient person. However, there is only so much patience one can take,

Other details:

1. I've called her for another date a couple times. First time, she didn't answer, but responded the next day apologizing for it. Second time, I haven't even gotten a response back yet (I called a couple days ago).

2. Like I said in a previous sentence, she is pretty introverted and has a lot of anxiety (and I feel like this is why I get sporadic replies, but then part of me thinks that if she was really interested in my, she would make a better effort to respond back...)

Any advice you all could give would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!


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What Girls Said 2

  • I'm an introvert, and would probably act the same way in her situation. I read the answer that said that anxiety doesn't affect texting - I strongly disagree with that. I usually take over 12 hours to answer texts from people I've grown up with, so if someone I liked sent me a text I would fret over it for a long time. I'll just tell you what I would have done and felt if I was in that girl's shoes:

    since I'm not good at expressing myself verbally, I'd try to make up for it by being very honest and open in my texts - but then, I'd worry over how much one should put of yourself in a text, and feel wholly socially inept. That would in turn make me worry about being very boring to meet in person, and begin distancing myself emotionally, telling myself that it's probably better that way. After some time, having no success at distancing myself, I'd very reluctantly answer something short and vague, realising that I'd been fretting so long that it'd be frowned upon as indecent. In turn, that would make me realize that you'd had to have lost a lot of interest after waiting so long for a reply, and so I'd try to avoid having to face you.

    All because I'd be overwhelmed by my feelings, and, being more of a logical person, not known how to deal with it. Feelings and logic rarely mix well.

    If you'd tried to use longer time replying, I'd probably feel relieved; I would feel more comfortable using more time, and not give short replys. If you started sending short replys, however, I'd have to like you a great deal to dare initiating more conversation. It goes against my nature.

    You should try to analyze how she's acted around you before to find out if she's like me, or if she's trying to reject you nicely, like the answer I referred to in the beginning said. There's a slight possibility that she doesn't like you, after all, though I don't see how she'd use so long time replying if she doesn't care about what you think of her.

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    • Thanks for the answer! Reading about what you would have done in her shoes is very interesting; from the the amount of time that I have known her, it definitely seems that she would have acted in a very similar way. I had no idea that she could have possibly have had thoughts like that.

      I do have one question though. Since it seems like she would act in a similar way as you, what type of message (from the person you like) would make you feel more much comfortable, in general?

  • Im gonna be honest with you and would rather be truthful before she really hurts you. I also have an anxiety problem and that does not effect when you answer people back with messages. This is an excuse she's using and not putting any effort in. Sounds to me like she may be a nice girl but this is her way of telling you that she's not interested. Unless someone is lieing in a hospital bed there is no reason why they should not answer your text. She does not have to be rude. After her blowing you off when you went to ask her out again I would have told you to forget about her. Sounds like she's always gonna play these games because what she's doing is playing games. It OK to play games but not to this level. I think you should just lay off for a while stop pursuing her and if she comes after you and texts you then she may like you. Let me know if I could help anymore.

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    • This is an excellent answer !

    • Thanks for the answer! Yeah, it's def. a good possibility that she may not like me and I've accepted that fact; I'm ready to move on if she doesn't share similar feelings for me.

    • Im sorry I didn't mean to upset you. Let me know what happens!

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