Why do romantic relationships bring out the worst in me?

supervixxen
my motto is typically "i don't do relationships". I avoid them at all costs, at least deep down that's what I want. my behavior in romantic relationships or even in close friendships is I have a tendency to become codependent and albeit possessive. I do things to build them up, all the while I'm left out of control. when the relationship ends, I take it very hard, I often leave because I can't take the treatment from the other person, because by this time, they are tired of me because they feel they don't know what the hell I want and I feel exhausted for giving them everything they want or what I think that they want. I have been advised to seek therapy, and it's come in the point in my life where I'm starting to accept that I need therapy. I do not wish to be with people because they feel sorry for me or because I am their doormat. I am already a moody person, but when I'm dating or like someone, I become unconfident, hypersensitive and completely non trusting, almost as if I'm just waiting for the person to betray my trust. I think arguments (not flirty ones) are normal, and basically the person backs off because they think I'm unstable. what the hell? what are some tips to be more confident in myself, to be more relaxed and HONEST with myself and the other person when I have relationships with people? I don't want to keep making the same mistakes again.
Why do romantic relationships bring out the worst in me?
1 Opinion