while I am not as extreme as you are, I worry a lot in relationships too. when it comes to attracting a guy I am confident, but the more our dates progress, the more I worry. I do not trust so easily because I have been hurt in the past, but I mostly keep it inside and talk about it with friends. if you have supportive friends that helps a lot. I have said a few things that make him think I don't trust him, and honestly I don't fully trust the guy I am dating right now. but a lot of it is also just me and my tendencies to worry and think the worst.
i feel just like you, I had a few boyfriends as a teenager, my last one when I was 18 and in college, now I'm in my early 20s and it's very different, since the last boyfriend I've had some dates and flirtations but I've been dating this guy for a month and haven't made it this far with anyone in a while.
unless you are lucky to have a guy who is absolutely in love with you early on and always keeps you feeling fully reassured and you just feel that you can trust him, you have to let go a bit. try to stop worrying. I know it is hard. you also can't show him you don't trust him because it will make him back off you and think you are nuts. it's hard! practice makes perfect.
look at relationships as learning experiences. if you try to keep the attitude "it's okay if it ends", it will be easier. I know that may dampen the excitement a bit, but that's what I do. I enjoy what I have with him and tell myself "it could end at any time" so this way if it goes well I just feel happier.
if you expect less, yo umay be better off.
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