Any advice to a person in first relationship?

Well.. I have a female friend of mine who also plays classical piano. I have always liked her, and during the past weeks she has confessed some times that she likes me also, more as a friend. Today I told her that I want to date her and want to be in a relationship. She accepted, yay! :)

Do you have any advice to me, as I have never been in a relationship before?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Dont think of it as a relationship. You're dating. Not even that really.

    You're going on a date. Singular.

    Don't try to run before you can walk.

    The most common mistakes a guy makes in his first "relationships" are :

    Moving too fast

    Thinking "she's the one"

    Letting fear of the relationship ending, emasculate him.

    He stops being the guy that she was attracted to

    He tries to make everything all about her.

    He subsumes his own wants and needs to try and pamper her.

    He never argues with her or stands up for himself.

    He stops taking the lead - If she says, where are we eating tonight? He'll go "I don't mind" thinking that he's doing her a favour, by letting her choose. When really, what he's saying is "Dump me. I can't make decisions."

    Don't make her your world. You have a social life, with friends - make sure you keep them.

    Don't try to become one of her girlfriends.

    They may not like to hear it, in this post 60's feminist world, but women want men to be men - they get antsy if the guy is all new-man soft. Even if they won't know why they are getting annoyed, they will get there.

    Keep things interesting for her. Don't always respond to every single text in under 10 seconds. Don't be predictable and boring. Learn to be spontaneous. Be fun. Be funny. And above all, be interesting. Challenge her.

    There's about 10 years of dating advice I wish someone had given me when I was 18.

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What Girls Said 12

  • The advice I can give you, is:

    *always tell her the truth about anything. girls don't like men who lie. If you lie about even the littlest things, that shows girls that you'll lie about the big things.

    *always tell her what you like/love about her. Weather its her hair or her smile. Girls love complements.

    *Tell her why she matters so much to you and how happy she makes you.

    * Let her borrow your sweater when its cold.

    *Send her text messages in the morning when she wakes up. Girls love that! :)

    * When a girls says that she's fine when you ask her if everything is okay or not, it really isn't...she wants you to not give up and climb over the walls to figure out what's truly going threw her mind and bugging her.

    * Sometimes a girl just needs a hug when she's going threw a hard time.

    * Hug or kiss her in front of your and her friends. Hold her hand out in public!

    * Meet her parents!

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    • These are all good responses here but being he is brand new to the dating scene some of these obviously he wants to hold off on until further in the relationship...but don't get me wrong they are all good points

    • Show All
    • "*always tell her the truth about anything. girls don't like men who lie. If you lie about even the littlest things, that shows girls that you'll lie about the big things."

      Ignore this one. Telling the truth every single time will cause a break-up after a month. Everybody lies, and people lie to the ones they love even more than random strangers.

    • yeah totally so you would have no problem with your boyfriend/girlfriend lieing to you right? yeah. totally.

  • Your first relationship can be either pretty intense or no big deal depending on the parties involved. Make sure you know how each other feels about the relationship at all times and know how important your friendship still is at times when you disagree.

    I don't mean bug her incessantly. Asking her constantly if she really likes you or really wants to be/stay in a relationship with you makes you sound insecure and makes her FEEL insecure. Not to mention, it's annoying!

    Just keep tabs. Make sure you're aware of whether you could go back to being friends if things didn't pan out. Sometimes friendship is more important. Remember that the two of you were friends first.

    Does she have other guy friends? If so, don't look at it like a problem unless it seems like she doesn't have time for you all of a sudden or she starts hanging out with her guy friend/s more than you. Even if she's not interested romantically in this other person/s, she could still be getting something from him that she's lost with or never gotten from you. Like respect or just somebody who listens to her.

    It sounds like respect may not be an issue, but sometimes, things happen in a "relationship". You treat each other differently and react differently to things. Be her friend first and foremost.

    Oh, and girls are all about feelings. Good luck.

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  • Communication is everything. Don't forget it

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  • aw! that is so cute honestly... well just BE YOU. don't change or switch up how you do things... because at a point that's why she fell in love.. treat her nice! that's all a girl really wants. tell her some of your secrets and tell her how you felt about her when you first met her... tell her your real feelings.. even if that means you tear a little bit.. girls love some tears from a guy it shows so much.

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  • Don't get your hopes up (the first love is usally the hardest to get over if you do break up), Have as much fun as possible, don't make commitments you can't keep, don't get clingy, and love yourself, no matter what happens.

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  • First of all, good luck in your first relationship!

    Second, be yourself.

    Third, remember the little things. I personally love it

    when the guy I'm dating

    remembers the small stuff about me that I didn't think he

    paid that much attention too.

    Lastly, ask her if something is bothering her

    if she looks upset. Don't assume things. She

    will appreciate you care.

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  • Just don't treat her like a girl. Treat her like a human being. Just be with her the way you would like her to be with you.

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  • Make sure that the relationship stays the same.. The way you are around each other, keep doing the same things. Keep it interesting & fun! people are always saying 'our relationship was good at first' be yourself & do not try be some one your not :) have fun & enjoy it. You seem to like her so I'm sure you'll be able to figure it out on your own & it will all come to you. Good luck kidda (:

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  • Just be yourself and don't try to be too cool. She obviously likes you already so don't change yourself. Nothing upsets a girl more then a wanna be!

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  • don't push too fast :)

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  • Be reasonable. quarrels are inevitable in a relationship so before getting angry at your girlfriend ask yourself first if you have the RIGHT reasons to be angry at her. don't let your emotions take over you. good luck :))

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  • Listen, understand and communicate. Don't put up with childish behavior .

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What Guys Said 9

  • Feels great doesn't it? The feeling of admitting your true love to someone and the say yes, nothing comes close to that.

    I will keep it short, but trust me, if you follow these three things, you will be the ultimate boyfriend in her eyes while keeping the relationship amazing.

    A) Respect: When you treat your girlfriend with proper respect, I'm talking about always respecting her opinions,views, fashion, decisions,etc. You must have mutual respect for each other or you will have tension between you two.

    B) Communication: Everyone will tell you how important this is cause it truly does matter. Talk often, swap opinions,Be honest, listen to her when she talks, let her know that you do want to be around her with your action.

    C) Treat her like a Queen: Make her feel precious, Treat her with kindness, give her compliments that explain why you fell for her, things like "You're so beautiful , I'm more then certain that you aren't human, you can keep your secret that you're actually a goddess with me."

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  • Read between the lines of what she's not telling you. Girls don't speak with there voice. They give hints with there body language and tone of voice. Yes might no. You have to pay attention and learn her real meaning. By the way love the piano. I can't see its make but I have one the same size yamaha. Nicest song you could ever play is ludovico einaudi - nuvole bianche freakin amazing check it out

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    • Thanks! It's a Steinway, production year 1901

    • I was born in a building above a piano shop (piano shops existed then) selling Steinway and the word 'Steinway' must be the first word I learned to read. I still have the image of these grand pianos in my memory.

    • Hah, so you must remember the look of my Steinway?

  • As the girls are saying, communication is IMPORTANT. You need to tell her what you don't like, and ask her to do the same. If you can just get away all the bad habits, and all the annoying things in the start, you're good on your way to a good relationship. But be nice about it.

    It's also smart to listen to her, and note what she says she likes, it makes it easier when giving gifts, and taking her out.

    And don't go asking her to marry you before you've gotten older, if it lasts that long.

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    • Indeed, I realized the last years that in HS and College I missed relationships with a number of girls who were worth a lot, because we communicated not enough or badly.

  • Keep some space. Contact her every other day because girls hate clinginess. As said before, always be honest with her. Don't be afraid of being thought of as an ass concerning this. As long as you are matter of fact and not arrogant or rude, you shouldn't worry about telling her the truth. If you grow unhappy in the relationship, end it. There's no point wasting your time on someone who's unsatisfying. If it's her who feels this way, let her go. Don't beat yourself up over it, and remember that it didn't work out for a good reason.

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  • link this was advice to a girl, but it can help you out as well.

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    • Forgot to mention, don't follow the advice your mom and sister(s) give you. They only teach you how to be friendzoned.

  • Don't be clingy, even if you want to (and trust me you will)

    Trust is key

    Communication is important

    Be honest and open with her

    Don't go to fast

    Cherish every single moment, even if it seems common place, cherish it

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  • Make her feel special! Don't let the initial fun of being together die.

    Ask her to go somewhere with you next time you see her.

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  • Be Honest and not clingy...

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  • -Be as honest as you can

    -Be very open and talk very freely when you are together

    -Don't show off and also listen well to her questions,concerns etc. Give right answers in a politely way .

    -Respect her views

    That way she will trust you and your relationship will grow stronger

    Mwillot

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