How do you break down a bill at the end of a date?

Do you pay? Does your date? Do you split 50/50? Do you each pay for your own stuff? Does it change depending on how the date went?

When my boyfriend and I go out I pay for both of the meals and he pays for any drinks and dessert (which we may or may not have) as well as tax and tip.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • there's something deeply wrong with the notion that the man should pay, and that's that it's built on the premise that women are some kind of virtuous celestial creature whom are worthy of special treatment. I'm sorry, but that just doesn't tally with reality. Not that I have anything against women, but as a whole they have just the same level of vice and malice as men. Not to mention putting them on a pedestal doesn't actually work as a dating strategy, or even, a healthy way to view people. 50/50 here, save on special occasions (or if she's skint and I'm doing alright financially).

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What Guys Said 20

  • I split it 50/50.

    The reason why is because there were too many times I've come across girls who took guys for granted on free drinks/food. I've also been nice enough to buy a few of my girl 'friends' drinks before and I was never appreciated for it. Not even a 'thank you' for my kind gesture.

    I shouldn't have to pay just to get to know someone. It's bribery, and my time is valuable too. Real 'dates' happen (and I'll pay here and there) after an exclusive relationship has been discussed and proposed.

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  • For years I've always paid the bill because I was raised that way (the guy asks the girl out, so he pays). But lately I'm seeing how women seem to be more into me if I act like I'm not that pleased to be out with them and say they should pay. I guess they think I'm a pushover if I automatically pay? I thought I was being gentlemanly.

    In relationships though I've generally been the one with more money so I almost always paid. One time I took a vacation with a girlfriend and I paid for the hotel and she paid for food and drinks. Other than that, I pay and pay and pay, lol.

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  • I'll answer this hypothetically because I've never actually been on a date. But I would always pay, that's the principles I was raised on, I would not expect the girl to pay at all even if she offered. The only way exception I think would be if we had been dating for a while like a few months, then maybe I would start to split stuff.

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  • When I ask a girl out I will pay for the first date unless she insists on splitting it. After all, I asked her, and if I hadn't she probably wouldn't have incurred that expense eating at home or whatever. After that it's going to be dutch though. I want a girl who is looking for an equal partner not a sugar daddy.

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    • This is assuming you've got her hooked after the first date?

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    • hahaha loved your reference to the Dutch way , since it's absulotely true!

    • I've always known 50/50 in dating by that term. I guess the Netherlands was ahead of the curve on that one.

  • Men should always pay 100% of dates!

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  • If I'm bringing her out then I will pay, but if we just meet up on a weekend or midday then we split or do separate depending on if it's a sitdown restaurant or like... Chipotle. Which is lovely.

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  • I would think 50/50 would be best off but there are many ways you can do it.

    when you suggest where to go on a date you can pay and when he suggests where to go he can pay but that could lead to one of you only suggesting cheaper dates.

    depending on cost one person can pay for fuel while the other pays for the date but depending on your car/mode of travel it might not be balanced.

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  • Is there even a debate? I'll pay no matter what. Especially when we're first dating. If we're in a serious relationship and she wants to pay sometimes..I guess I'll let her but not for special occasions...since I don't feel comfortable as a man and a provider but I guess it shows that she's not milking a man for all he's worth which is nice.

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  • I payed in full pretty much every time on dates in high school. It was a pain in the ass because working at bojangles for $60 a week and blowing half that every Friday night on my girlfriend was heartbreaking.

    However now that I'm a in college I realize that paying in full every time isn't required but should be planned out by both partners. "I pay for the dinner and gas to get there if you pay for the movie tickets and popcorn."

    The latter is much better.

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  • I always pay

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  • I pay for every meal activity gas whatever. In my fam the guy always pays

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  • It tradition that whoever invites has to pay. So if I invite anyone anywhere I will pay male or female. However to get around that because people know that about me now, to people I will not pay for I will say you can tag along but I'm not paying.

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  • Both parties pay for what they ate and/or drank, I find some women might expect the fella to pay for their stuff, well I find that kind of arrogant, if you ate or drank it, pay for it. I'm a poor student lol, I can barely afford my own stuff, let alone someone else's. Don't care how hot she is

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  • 50/50, each his turn or I just pay

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  • I just pay the bill. No biggy. It may cost me money but I enjoy meeting new/old people and having a one-on-one date with them. It's fun to me so I don't mind. Besides, someone needs to keep chivalry alive. =D

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  • On a date, I always pay the whole bill. I've never had a date where I expected her to pay.

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  • 50/50. Women are always saying equality is so important. Here's their chance to prove it.

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  • if I asked her out I will probably pay, if she asks me I will pay for some

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  • i have never let a girl pay for anything. maybe once for a smoothie. but I pay all the dates and stuff. I don't like it but I don't know how to say "hey lets split it" I fear she is gonna judge me based on that

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  • I'd pay all of it of course. Wouldn't have it any other way.

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What Girls Said 18

  • My general policy is either split the check/pay for your own meals etc, or whoever asked/initiated pays. When I go out with my boyfriend, usually whoever's idea it was to go out is the one who pays because they did the 'asking', or if one of us is broke then the other pays and we get each other back next time. And before anyone [certain males here] says anything, I take him out AND PAY FOR US BOTH just as often as he takes me out and pays.

    Along similar lines, we both work full time but I do most of the cooking at home because he works as a cook at a restaurant. No one wants to work all day and then come home to do more of the same crap. Likewise, he does a lot of the tidying around the house and dishes and whatnot, because I do a lot of that at MY job and don't even want to look at dishes when I get home, haha. =P We do things pretty equally, except I do our laundry because I'm the one who drives and has a place I can take it to do it for free.

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  • My boyfriend and I do several different things. Just recently he paid for our whole date :) It was really nice, but he doesn't take me out a lot so it was okay. He spent about 30 bucks on dinner, 15 bucks on a movie for two of us (plus snacks). I don't have a lot of money right now so he offered to pay it :)

    I will take my boyfriend out on dates too, when I can afford it. I just graduated so I was a student, so I could only afford cheap dates. So usually what we do is one person pays for one date, then the other pays for the next.

    Now that I have a job, I will be taking him out on a fancy date :)

    However, if there was something we really wanted to do, I know my boyfriend would pay for it if I couldn't afford it. We've been together for a long time and he knows I am not using him for money. We rarely go out on dates and usually just stay in. And he was the only one working for a while. But now that I have a job I plan on spoiling him :)

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  • When dating, the guy usually pays or you go dutch. When I was dating if I dated a younger guy I would always offer to go dutch. I never made that offer to guys my age or older because they just don't go for that.

    I rarely had a guy accept my offer to pay for my meal, but the few times it happened, well those guys were guys I had no chemistry with anyways. There is something about the dynamic in dating that if the woman is paying for part or all of the date, it just isn't sexy or romantic. It makes me feel like I am going out with one of my friends or my mom.

    Once you are in a relationship, that is when things can change, but some men don't like you paying even then.

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  • Well, we normally argue who does. It normally ends up one of us pays and the other sneaks money into the others' pocket. It's a bit of a game.

    But when we're not playing, he normally insists, to the point is restraint (jokingly), to pay. And then I have to say OK, right?!

    It's not always right for one side to always pay, sometimes it's a treat for the other person. But I do believe, if one person is earning more than the other, man or woman, they should at least offer to, if not actually, pay the bill. If someone wants to treat the other to a nice night out, that's another thing entirely though.

    That being said, everyone likes to be pampered!

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  • Depends on the situation I think, if it's a friendly first few dates then I think each person should pay for what they've had. However, if it's a few dates down the line I think the couple should take it in turn to pay the bills for dates but keep it even between them on the costs. One week one person pays, the next date the person that didn't pay last time pays!

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  • Usually the guy pays, but I always offer to.

    If he accepts my offer, I'll pay for what I ate and he'll pay for his meal.

    If he doesn't accept, then he'll pay.

    That's just a usual date. If it's my boyfriend, I'll pay for the whole meal every once in a while (cause most of the time he pays) and especially if it's his birthday or a special event of his...or if I just want to thank him cause I love him (:

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  • It depends.

    If my boyfriend is inviting me out, he usually pays the entire bill.

    If he is running a bit short on cash (this is something we discuss before hand).

    We split the bill 50/50 or I offer to pay the whole thing.

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  • we either take turns covering the bill in full or just pay 50/50 with the tip included.

    that deal you two have would only fly with me if he (or i) were broke, and it wouldn't be a reoccurring thing :p

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  • The default for my boyfriend and I is simply buying our own food/tickets/whatever. Every once in a while we also take turns paying for the entire date, because we like the feeling of treating each other.

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  • i would think whoever asked the other out should pay. if it were me and he asked me out id offer to pay at least my half ...or try to if he let me

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  • I never pay for a guy if we're dating let alone even if it's just a friend. It's just not ladylike. Not that any guy that has dated me has ever let me pay. The guy always pays. End of discussion. If the girl works and the couple lives together then she can pay the water bill or something.

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  • We split the bill unless one of us is broke the bill falls on the person that came up with having lunch. Whoever didn't pay has to leave the tip.

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  • 50/50, I prefer it that way.

    It doesn't depend on how the date went for me.

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  • I always offer to pay 50% but they never accept. But then I'll tell them that the next date is a place I can pick, and I always pick a fun, cheap restaurant.

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  • I prefer to pay my share of the bill. Then there are no obligations on either party.

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  • Guys always pay...I always want to pay my part but they never let me.

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  • I don't and if I did it would be our last date.

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    • I don't go out to eat very often, so when I do it is a special occasion. I understand people doing 50/50 when they eat out all the time. Also when you are young and just casually dating 50/50 is appropiate, but for a serious realtionship it is just unecessary and can make the mood awkward, he should feel like the man, taking care of me... and I will be sure to take care of him too.. Not everything must be so equal, balanced, yes.

  • I like taking turns each date

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