Is it okay if I sleep in the same bed as my date?

Tomorrow I'm going to stay overnight at a guy I'm dating's place. We haven't kissed yet, but we tend to cuddle when we lay down and watch something together. Also, I've stayed overnight at his place before, but ended up with me sleeping all my myself in his huge bed, while he was sleeping on a couch somewhere else.. He's a really sweet and gentle man, so I felt really bad having him thrown onto a couch, and that's why I'm thinking about telling him tomorrow: "You know.. It's okay with me if we sleep in the same bed, as long as we don't really do anything inappropriate".

Guys, how would you understand this? And would it be okay with you to sleep like that, with your date in the same bed without doing anything sexual?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Yes I'd understand and respect it, and I'd like it. Just be weary that at any point you might feel his erection pressing against you.

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What Guys Said 4

  • If he's as much of a gentleman as you describe he'll resist the idea regardless of how much you insist, If he does eventually say "okay" he'll be thinking about intimacy the entire time. Even if he dosen't touch you.

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  • He seems very self controlled, I believe he would have no problems with this. I suggest getting him to lay on his back and you using him as a pillow, being on your side or laying on top of him. :)

    If he feels uncomfortable then tell him you two can sleep in your pajamas.

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  • You're just asking to put yourself in a situation where sex or something sexual will happen if you sleep in the same bed.

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  • Risky thing to do. If you aren't wanting to do anything sexual then you need to let things be how they've been. Don't put yourself in a situation where it can quickly turn hot.

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What Girls Said 3

  • If you are not in a relationship with him, you should not sleep in the same bed. He gets that, you need to stick with it.

    So, you two have not even kissed yet. It sounds like you have had a few dates at least and you have cuddled, but no kiss. Yikes, a kiss would be appropriate now. The rest should wait until he asks you to be his girlfriend. Good luck!

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  • Its not that he doesn't want to be close to you. Its the fact that he gets extremely horny having a attractive girl lay next to him (and not being able to go all the way with her.) Although it would feel great to sleep with you, this must make his body feel rather uncomfortable having that in constant thought. To control his urges he sleeps on the couch. With this being said, let him know that you undersand why he is sleeping elsewhere but you'd like if he slept with you.

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    • To avoid anything non-sexual happening I would advise you to continue sleeping separate , until you move into that other stage in your relatioship.

  • It sounds like you caught yourself a true gentleman! Don't say anything to him of the sort! This means he respects your body and most of all YOU! Don't ruin that... I agree with one commenter who stated your just asking for something to happen if you both lay in the same bed. It may be innocent or with good intentions, but we all know what can happen and if you want him to conitnue respect you I think you should just allow the night to unfold itself and don't push.

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