I'm 18 and I've never been in a real relationship is this normal?

I usually can't find someone similar to me easily. But when I do it, it either turns out to be a really close friendship or just fades away. I think my problem is that when I find somebody who gets me so well I don't want to risk losing them by getting in a relationship. Let's face it relationships are messy and somebody always gets hurt at the end and breaks off contact. But being in a friendship is much more easier, no drama, no jealousy. Is it weird that I'm thinking like this?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • It's not wierd, but at some point you have to realize that, while every relationship is a risk, that without SOME risk, there can be no real reward.

    Successful people don't avoid risk, because they'd never have any success unless they took risks. Instead, they learn to MANAGE risk, by learning a lot about what they're dealing with and by being honest with themselves about the situation. That's great advice for relationships as it is with any other investment.

    You've been playing it safe, and you can continue to play it safe forever, but that will be a lonely life. Take some risk. Don't get TOO deeply involved at first, because you're bound to make some mistakes with your first few relationships, but learn from them and do better every time, and soon you'll have one that's worth investing more deeply in.

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What Guys Said 5

  • Yeah I totally agree with you

    I'm 21 and never had any relationship!

    I also have the same logic.

    Like I would rather have a long-lived friendship than have a short-lived relationship

    It's totally not weird except now I kinda feel that I've built a wall for myself =/

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    • Yeah I feel the same way. It's nice knowing there are other people out there thinking the same way as me. We have to break down those walls sooner or later though :)

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    • Okay I'll let you know, I just added you thanks again.

    • If you don't mind, I would appreciate it if you would answer my latest Q.

      Thanks :)

  • there are people older than you that are in the same boat, me being one of them

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  • i'm 22 and in the same boat, be glad you don't have to do the pursuing, chasing

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  • There is no greater bowl of crapola than the notion that you're somehow "putting our friendship at risk! (ooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhh!)" by entering in to a relationship. Because the fact of the matter is that your "special friendship" with your crush, won't amount to a hill of beans once one of you starts dating someone else. Because the person in the relationship will basically want to share everything they currently share with their "friend" with the person they're now having hot, monkey sex with.

    So my advice is, just go for it.

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  • It makes sense that you think like that. Nobody wants to get hurt or lose someone they were close to. But it also won't ever get you a relationship thinking that way either.

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What Girls Said 5

  • I'm 18 in a couple months and I've never had a relationship either. I'm a commitment phob though, so I know it will be hard to ever get in or be in a relationship with someone. It can make you feel bad seeing so many people around you who have a bf/gf, even people getting engaged. Sometimes I want that, but then sometimes I'm glad I'm single and I can talk to anyone I want. I've tried being in a relationship with different guys a few times. It only lasted a week or 2. I don't consider that a real relationship and it didn't feel like one... I was detached and awkward, because I was scared to commit so I didn't get close with them.

    What I've learned, and I don't claim to know everything because I'm 17, is that you have to understand that you may lose that person. They might stop talking to you, you may get in a fight, who knows what. But that's what you have to understand when you get close to anyone. It's like buying a dog, you buy that dog knowing that you will love and cherish it while you have it... but someday it won't be there anymore and it will be devastating. But that's what you get yourself into when you have a bond or care deeply about someone, or rather something (being the dog or cat or whatever).

    Nothing lasts forever, your relationships with people won't probably last forever. If they do then great, but if they don't then that's life. People change and move on in life. You change and move on in life. What I say is cherish the moments you have with people. Have fun, and enjoy your time with that person because it won't be forever. They could be in your arms one month and the next month want a divorce. Who knows. So you have to understand that that's life and people will come and go.

    This is something I finally learned after years of asking "why?" Why did this person leave me? Why does no one stick around for long? Why this, why that. (And I still do ask that sometimes, don't get me wrong). Instead of asking "why?" I should be remembering the good times I shared with those people, and I do. So what I'm trying to say is take a leap of faith and care about someone, even though you're scared they might leave you, which they might. Cherish and enjoy the good times you have with that person. Because it's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. At least I think so. And this may sound hypocritical since I'm a commitment phob but it's something I'm starting to realize and I thought I would share here lol.

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  • completely normal.

    im 19, and I thought like this until this year, only because I met someone worth taking the risk for.

    your young. have fun and enjoy life, don't get tied down too eaarly, these are the best years of your life (:

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  • Its normal.I had boyfriend when I was 21...Its not easy to find the right person for a serious relationship.

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  • It is normal, there's nothing wrong with what you're thinking.

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  • Yeah its normal but just shows you what you want or don't out of a relationship.

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