My boyfriend makes me very happy but I find myself being drawn to his best friend. My boyfriend is away in China traveling for the next month and I've been hanging out with his best friend while he's gone. We text and hang out without my boyfriend's knowledge, as far as I know. We stay out all night, usually to go on random walks, talk, go for long drives, get food and joke around.
We hung out on Sunday and something happened and he basically played with himself in front of me on a dare. Surprisingly, none of us was weirded out by it and I don't feel guilty for doing anything wrong since I didn't. We just get along really well.
Anyway, he is picking me up on Thursday after he gets off work and driving an hour to get me and then he's going to let me drive his car since I have my permit. Then we are driving the hour back to his house to chill and watch movies. He offered since it's a hassle for me to explain to my mom/sisters who I'm with, that I can sleepover, but if I don't think that it's a good idea that's fine.
I just don't know what I'm getting myself into. I don't think that J (we'll call him that) would do anything with me to constitute cheating because he and D (my boyfriend) are like brothers and would do anything for each other. But I don't know that I can trust myself to not try anything with J. I'm lonely without D.
Maybe it's just wanting what I can't have that's driving me crazy...
Most Helpful Guy
I have a relatively simple solution for you:
Think to yourself how YOU would feel if the situations were reversed. Would you feel comfortable with your boyfriend spending so much time with YOUR best friend? How about if she started playing with herself in front of him? Spending the night after "watching movies" (you're lying to yourself if you think it's innocent)?
If the answer to any of those is "no" then you DO know what you're doing is beyond shady and you should definitely cut that sh*t out. If the answer is "yes" then you honestly shouldn't be in a relationship if he wouldn't also answer the same (in which case, you'd be in an open relationship).
Basically, I think you know perfectly well what you're doing's a bunch of BS but you don't actually care enough about your boyfriend/relationship to do anything about it. If you did, this situation would've stopped being an issue several broken boundaries ago...