Need advice on online dating and staying confident?

So I met a really wonderful man on a dating site last month. We talked/emailed/texted for three weeks nonstop before we met. Really got to know each other. Was amazing. We both said it was so odd to feel so connected to someone we hadn't even met yet. Very similar interests. Anyway, we finally met last weekend. I was like a teenager again, so nervous to meet him. But once we met, it was again like we knew each other for a lot longer. The date went great. We kissed, laughed, talked for hours...it was perfect. During the date, he made a point to tell me, listen, I know we are both online and I'm not going to pretend I never go online to see who emailed me or to even look at your pictures, but I want you to know that I haven't talked to anyone else since meeting you. I was surprised he told me that, because I have been on and off dating sites since I split up from my husband, and usually people don't say this stuff. I thought it was sweet that he told me. I get that we are both online...but like him, I am not entertaining other offers. I get a lot of emails as I'm fairly attractive, and I'm sure he does as well. So I told him that I'm in same boat, that I may still have profile at this point but am not looking at anyone else either. I said to him that I'm a little conservative. I'm not a serial dater. I have a busy life. If I hit it off with one guy, even if it may be early on, I will spend my time getting to know that guy to see if it can go somewhere instead of spreading my time thin trying to answer emails/date as many men as possible. That just doesn't sound productive to me. It's more a logical thing for me, not even a romantic thing. He said he was the same way. So great. But here's the problem. My ex husband cheated on me and left me for someone he met on a dating site while we were married. Then my first long-time boyfriend after my divorce cheated on me, with multiple women, using another dating site. So I obviously have a bit of a chip on my shoulder when it comes to the sites. Now this guy is new. I have no right to know what he does on the site. Obviously. But I really like him and feel myself losing confidence at the same time. Since we met already, we don't talk/text as much as before we met. But we make plans and he told his friends about me. I'm seeing him again tomorrow and then again on Sunday. But I worry...maybe without real cause, why isn't he talking to me as much? Is he talking to someone else who he might like more. Etc. Again, I know this is my issue, not his. And besides the drop in communication, he still is making dates, etc, with me. And even though it's less, we still do communicate every day. But then I worry because I know he's still online. And I know I am too, but I really am not looking right now. I like him a lot. And I don't fall very easily, usually, so I'm scared. Sorry for rambling...I'm just having trouble with all this. Any advice for me?


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What Girls Said 1

  • well the best advice I can give to you is to be true to yourself no matter what. if you're sincerely interested in him then I'd close your online accounts and stay committed to where this new relationship is going to go. there is never any guarantee in life and that's the chance we have to take for ourselves in order to grow and hopefully develop meaningful relationships. as far as your new guy, if he still keeps his online accounts open, then its his decision. I wouldn't read too much into that either ok? guys are just different than women are about that stuff ha ha seriously don't let that bother you too much. if things are working out with you two then there'll be a point where he's going to feel confident in his decision to close his online dating accounts. take care and good luck with him. you guys sound like you like each other a lot :o)

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