Is it possible to be too busy for someone you like?

We're 19. Texting him, I asked if he's free tomorrow. He said no (he works) and won't be able to hang out for a while and then he told me why he's been busy (two jobs and band practice).

Was that just his way of telling me to go away?

If it matters, the last time we hung out he told me he liked me and wanted to hang out again but that was like a month ago.

Do you think he just said that so I would stop asking to hang out?

  • Yes
    46% (22)41% (7)45% (29)Vote
  • No
    25% (12)47% (8)31% (20)Vote
  • Depends (explain please)
    29% (14)12% (2)24% (16)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • A month is just too long, hate to say it but it looks like he's not that bothered any more, in my opinion, yeah, he may be busy but if he really liked you that much, he would of made some time for you, even if it was just a few hours every here and there. It's probably better that he's done this now, imagine you'd got in a relationship and then suddenly he was always busy, it would be horrible so it's definitely better than this happened sooner rather than later.

    Also, as for his replies to your offer to hang out, if he wanted to hang out, he'd say he was sorry then try and work out a way to see you for a bit or arrange a later date when he will be free.

    Maybe he's not interested..maybe he is interested but realistically just doesn't have the time for you, who knows but my best advice to you here is to give up on him, if you're not important to him, then don't make him important to you. There is somewhere out there who will give you the time you deserve rather than waiting on a guy who is all over the place.

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What Guys Said 5

  • It sounds like he's a busy, ambitious guy, and while that makes him attractive, it also doesn't leave a lot of time for relationships. If he has two jobs and he's in a band that practices regularly, that's going to be taking up 90+% of his time already. That doesn't leave a lot left over.

    It sounds to me like he's telling the truth, both about liking you and about being busy. So the question really is: are you okay with only being able to see him on the rare occasions when your schedules allow it? Or will that not be often enough for you?

    You need to be honest with yourself about this answer, because if it isn't enough, then you should break up with him ASAP.

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  • If you meet a guy in the middle of building a name at work, or working on a tough degree, he can be slammed all the time.

    When it's like that for me, I just don't date.

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  • I think he might really just be busy. Guys are normally rather straight forward when it comes to things like this (meaning: he'd probably tell that he's not into hanging out or find an excuse like seeing someone else or so). And I know from my work that it can consume a big part of your time... Beside a short walk I didn't do anything with my wife yet today

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  • NO

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  • sometimes people are actually busy. don't be so self absorbed. get busy too instead of thinking about this every minute of the day

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What Girls Said 11

  • My boyfriend and I lead two very different, very busy lives. I work full time and also attend school full time as well. I have maybe six hours one day a week when I'm not busy. He attends school as well, a different school than I do. And he's a swimmer there, so any time that he's not in class or sleeping, he's in the pool or at a meet somewhere. He also has about 6 hours one day a week that he's not busy. Whether or not these six hours line up with each other is a different story. We maybe text once or twice a day during the week, and spend a few hours together every few weeks, depending on when we're both free. This works for both of us.

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  • It depends, but yes you can be too busy for someone you like.

    I barely have any free time, so I barely ever got to hang out with my old boyfriend, who also had a very busy life. The relationship didn't work well cause we never got to spend time together and hangout...sad. :(

    So I try to not get into relationships until my schedule is very stable and I can clear up some free time...cause it's really difficult and frustrating for the other person. :/

    Then again, I do use my excuse of being busy to occasionally turn down guys. (Usually the first 2 times they ask, I'll say I'm too busy. But after the 2nd time they ask, I'll just be upfront and tell them if I don't like them.)

    If you keep asking him and he KEEPS turning you down, he's not interested. But if he says stuff like, "I'll try to clear up my weekend for you!" or at least attempts to make free time, he might like you.

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  • depends.

    obviously people are busy and that prevents them from having social life/relationships whatever

    but you can tell if he's interested if he texts/calls you when he can e.g. during his break or on his way home etc.

    even though he may be busy, he still should make some sort of time for you if he's interested.

    if it seems as if your always the one trying, then he's not worth the effort because your always gonna be waiting for him/disappointed. he may be a nice guy, but let him have his space and see if he misses you, if he does miss you he'll make time for you (:

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  • I think he is busy.

    Think of it this way. He could meet up with you for four seconds, or he could wait and spend some proper time with you.

    I know what you mean about you feel like he doesn't want to see you, I'm in the same problem. My love interest has a job, a band, 2 businesses and college. It makes it difficult. But he'd rather see me properly for a day than a quick rushed hug when he's busy and not really thinking about me.

    Just find out when he's free in the next week or so and PLAN something. That way he can't pick up extra work or just flake on you. It's quality time together. If he still dodges it last minute or refuses to arrange anything with you, I think you're more than in the right to say, what's going on? You've been very understanding, don't have a go just let him know it's bothering you that you never get to see him. Alternatively, you could become massively busy!

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  • It depends. It's definitely possible to go through periods where you are too busy to have much of a social life. But when you like someone enough, you will usually make an effort to see them as much as possible. It's hard to know from the information you've provided what is going on as far as the guy you are interested in.

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  • No, it's completely possible he's busy. When you have to question it is when he stops texting. A text takes three seconds; you're never too busy for ONE of those. But too busy for hanging out? I completely empathize. Give him a break. TWO jobs and band practice - the dude needs some alone time and sleep. He IS busy.

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  • Absolutely, looking at your age group he's probably in college (or in last year of high school applying for college) which entails a huge amount of work, even more so if he's aiming for (or in) an elite college. You said he works two jobs which probably adds up to 40 hours a week and I'd imagine band practise is anywhere between five and fifteen hours a week. Honestly he probably is very busy, and isn't ignoring you at all, it's just a hectic time. I wouldn't worry about it at this point and time. I'd ask him to get in touch with me when he was free if I were you, that way he can work it in around his schedule

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  • two jobs and practice, I've been there it sure is a plate full!

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  • Yes yu can be too busy, people have lives, and lives take up time.

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  • I don't think it is possible to be too busy for anyone if you really care about them.

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  • yes. I feel like if he really wanted to see you he could have told you another time that he would be free to see you/ expressed interest in seeing you when his schedule cleared up

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