Why did he cut me off so suddenly?

Firstly, I apologize for the length!

At the beginning of May, I met this much older man (I’m 28 and he’s 47) on a dating site. We hit it off immediately, and we texted and chatted over the phone until a few days ago.

Now, this is where it gets weird (at least in my opinion). He kept planning meet ups, but never really set a time or place, and he’d wouldn’t reply until the next day and not even mention it. He was always busy with work or he had the kids (joint custody arrangement is alternating weeks). He’d only invite me over when he was horny and at night-and it was always when he had the kids- and I’d always decline those invites out of respect for the kids. Anyway, I never really heard from him when he didn’t have the children because he was always working.

When we chatted over the phone or texted, it’d be mainly him complaining about his ex-wife (who, according to him, has mental issues and is a narcissist) or about his past ‘wild’ sex adventures. This **huge** turn off for me-like who the hell wants to hear about his swinging with his exes?! Plus, about how messed up his ex is. Furthermore, I am still unsure if he is divorced or separated. I found it strange that his Facebook marital status was separated and on the dating site it was divorced. When I did ask him, he never really gave me a clear answer and he was annoyed.

I did become suspicious of him (last thing I want is to become involved with a married man) and decided to google him, I discovered that he was involved in illegal trading and distribution of securities. There are always two sides to the story, so I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt. However, I never told him until he had ended things (he never commented).

Anyway, he texted me the other day to tell me that he had too much on his plate, that his ex was driving him crazy, that I should date someone my own age (um, hello?-he contacted me on the dating site), and that ‘us’ would never work because his life was too crazy at the moment. He blocked me on Facebook and that was the last I heard from him!

I am still confused. I’ve never dated a man that much older than me or a man with kids and 2 ex-wives, so I am not sure if it was something I did? For me it’s definitely a ‘WTF’ moment. I liked him a lot and when he texted me with that, I told him that I understood and I thought we could at least be friends (he was an interesting person!)-well, until I noticed that he blocked me on Facebook and completely ignored my texts.

Anyway, I’d love to hear from both men and women.

Thanks in advance!

Updates:
*edit* This was supposed to be posted under Dating and I don't know how to edit the category...

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Most Helpful Guy

  • 1. He kept planning meet ups, but never really set a time or place, and he’d wouldn’t reply until the next day and not even mention it.

    Sounds like he had too much on his plate (by which, I mean dealing with his wife or various f*cktoys he met on the internet).

    2. He was always busy with work or he had the kids (joint custody arrangement is alternating weeks).

    Nobody's "always" busy with work, especially men who are interested in a woman. If we're interested, we MAKE time.

    3. He’d only invite me over when he was horny and at night

    Booty calls? Really?

    4. And it was always when he had the kids

    And that's f***ed up.

    5. When we chatted, it’d be mainly him complaining about his ex-wife

    Of course it would, if you thought he was trying to get her BACK after she dropped him for womanizing, you wouldn't even CONSIDER sleeping with him.

    6. or about his past ‘wild’ sex adventures

    Obviously, he was hoping these would make you horny.

    7. Furthermore, I am still unsure if he is divorced or separated.

    Probably separated, and not by his choice, or he'd have been more clear. Most men don't LEAVE their women. They might cheat, but they rarely up and leave, unless they've ALREADY found someone willing to replace her. Most likely, she's the one that left him, and she probably had a very good reason.

    As for why he blocked you, maybe he found someone else online who was less investigative and more willing to put out, or maybe he's succeeding in getting back together with his wife and you being around would complicate that. But whatever the reason, NOTHING about this guy sounds like good news, so you're seriously better off the way things turned out.

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What Guys Said 4

  • All I can say is that as we get older, time becomes a more precious commodity. And often the quickest easiest ways to free up time, are to cut things from your life, without ceremony. Just rip it out like pulling a bandage.

    You didn't do anything wrong. But you were low-enough down this guys list of priorities that when something had to give, you were the thing he jettisoned. That doesn't mean he didn't like you or have feelings for you. He just couldn't justify spending time with you ahead of something else in his life. And it's better (in his mind anyway) that you go find someone else, rather than for him to keep you dangling, hoping that things might change in the future, or just getting more and more angry with him.

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  • He gave your some good advice at the end but other than that he behaved like a selfish moron every step of the way. I recommend you take his advice about the next guy you decide to date. Not so much that he be your age but that he not have kids and multiple exes. More complication than is necessary for a woman in her 20's.

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  • He sounds like an insensitive heel. I am sorry -- I don't know what to say.

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  • He is clearly a weirdo and a liar. just be glad you got away from him and don't look back.

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