How should I explain I've never been in a serious relationship?

I'm 23 and I've never been in a real relationship and I'm still a virgin. Even though I'm quite funny, cute, and smart I just haven't been able to meet the right guy or my timing is off. Or it's just not "my time" yet. Whatever the case, I've been wondering how to explain this to someone who wants to date me but without coming off like a weirdo.

How would guys in my age range or a little older feel about this? Would it deter you from dating someone?

Updates:
Stemming from Orion's answer - what would a guy guess about a seemingly normal girl who hasn't had a boyfriend?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • 24 same story.

    Seriously, we peeps should start a support group. "twenty-something virgin problems"

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    • Hahaha, glad I can bring the giggles :)

    • Irony: I started dating my boyfriend within a month after posting this.

      I can now confirm this issue wasn't a problem.

What Guys Said 12

  • Lack of experience isn't a huge deterent. You probably don't even really have to explain yourself (he might be able to guess). Did a good job of explaining your situation there already! You can always just say you haven't met the right guy, or you haven't been on many dates. The more you get to know him the more you can reveal, it doesn't all have to come out the first date.

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    • That's a relief to hear... explaining that on the first date to me would be like tying a noose around the entire chance of a relationship and kicking the stool out from underneath.

    • I wonder what kind of guesses guys would make!

    • The first date, a guy is just going to want to know more about you. They're not going to dig into your relationship history unless you make an issue to talk about. The first two dates you're still strange and mysterious and there's no need to dig too deep, after a while you'll probably be so comfortable that it might not even be something you need to discuss until you really want to or he asks directly. But of course if he really starts digging early just say it in the simplest possible terms.

  • It's not that weird. Just tell the guy that it's not out of the question, but that you just haven't met the right guy yet, so it hasn't happened yet. Guys will understand that. Make sure you ALSO tell him that you'd only have sex in a committed relationship, and you aren't really interested in anything else (assuming that's the case). If guys know that up-front, they'll either run away (because they just wanted sex, and know they won't get it without work), or they'll get on the path towards a relationship.

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  • Well, that should be a topic you bring up on a first date. just explain that youv never had a serious relationship. if you're looking for Mr. Right, he'll understand and will stay to help you get to that comfortable point, at your pace. Mr. Wrong will stay and try to get you to a point to have sex to take your virginity. a lot of guys would be weirded out by that conversation, but don't let that discourage you. you'l find the right man for you.

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  • Do not share this unless they ask. It's usually a big turn-off to still be a virgin at your age. And it's bullsh*t, too. Being so close-minded like that only keeps the person a virgin and alone. Don't worry about it too much. Significant others have become accessories to people these days.

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    • That's what I was thinking, and I've gone on dates and things but the guys were super weird. I'm also unsure a lot when it comes to dating and have trouble reading guys so I kept to myself romantically speaking.

    • Yeah, I honestly don't want a girlfriend anymore. It always proved to be a waste of time with drama sprinkled in. I still get lonely, but I know it's better than being with the wrong person. I'm not discouraging you though. I really do hope you can find the right person. You seem smart and likeable.

  • I honestly don't see how it's a turnoff whatsoever. If anything, I would be relieved in a way because then I wouldn't feel insecure about myself had she been with several guys.

    Unless the guy is a tool, just be straight up honest with how you tell him, like how you stated it in your question. If he is weirded out, chances are he wasn't good enough for you in the first place.

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  • same boat. 23 single virgin. can't find a girl around here that dosen't have a child. There seems to be a lot of us in this position. I feel less lonely now. thank you.

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  • No. I wouldn't care, it isn't a big deal. For women though...it seems like a big deal.

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    • It really does! In my situation and in this generation, I personally think guys expect girls to be very experienced and to immediately just rock their world and pull out all these advanced sexual moves, and it's embarrassing to have absolutely no idea what you're doing, especially with someone you like.

    • American culture *smh*. Don't worry about it. If all they care about is the experience and not you, then it isn't really worth squat anyways.

  • glad I'm not alone, I'm close to your age, a year older(being 24), and still a virgin, never had a girlfriend

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  • Me personally, (and I can only speak for myself here), I would be turned on by it. But that's because I'm in the exact same position as you. I'm 23, never been in a real relationship and still a virgin. So I would be more than happy to date a girl like you. If I had been in a real relationship and/or not a virgin, I don't think I would care. I don't think most guys would. I think girls can get away with it more than guys can tbh.

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  • I am 22 and a virgin I would straight up tell them if they don't like it the are not for you

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  • be glad you don't have to initiate anything

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  • I'm in the same predicament.

    I would do whatever I would like done to myself

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What Girls Said 2

  • Why would you have to make an announcement out of it? If he's a good guy he won't judge you. If I were dating a guy who's never slept with someone, I'd thank God for finally meeting a good guy I wanna date!

    But if you really wanna get it off your chest, ask him about previous gf's and stuff, it's not the most fun subject to talk about but it gives you the chance to tell him (because he has to ask back, that's the rule, lol).

    Don't worry about it! I'd be proud of it, too many easy girls on this world lately!

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    • I wouldn't want to make an announcement out of it. I guess it's something I'm insecure about because I seem like the type who would HAVE had boyfriends in the past. Not that I seem easy, but like I said - I'm bubbly, etc. And I also wonder about what if I do something out of the ordinary in a relationship and he questions it, finds out I'm new at "this" and then leaves or judges me? Irrational fear, probably but it crosses my mind.

    • Well, it's a bit the same thing I'm in. When someone asks me about previous boyfriends I tell them I'm single for over 3 years and they'll be like: WHAT? they never believe me. Just be proud of who you are, I mean, enough girls on this world who would sleep with anyone or start a relationship with anyone, you're not one of them! :D

  • there are other people in the same boat

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