Why do we put so much weight on "titles"?

The title of boyfriend and girlfriend used to freak me out when I was younger. Now that I'm older and a little bit wiser, it doesn't as much but I think it's interesting how people will run around in circles with each other (all the while remaining exclusive) but refuse to say they're dating. Or they deny they're in a relationship. Is there even a point to calling your S.O. your "boyfriend" anymore? I suppose I feel like a long-term emotional investment in someone who you may or may not be sleeping with, might as well be called a relationship rather than copping out saying it's complicated.

Do you dis/agree? Why, why not?


Most Helpful Girl

  • The title shows a commitment.

    A lot of people don't want to commit to someone. They're exclusive by circumstance, sometimes. And assuming people are exclusive because they are together a lot is really an overstatement. A lot of people are not monogamous in these types of relationships, despite their feelings. One person is usually not that committed to making the relationship work.

    It's like volunteering somewhere vs. working somewhere. If you volunteer, you can cop out and not show up at any point. If you're working there, there is a social contract (and sometimes legal contract) that says you will fulfill certain duties until otherwise agreed upon. You can still stop showing up at any point, but you've claimed that you will be responsible and reliable.


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What Guys Said 3

  • I think it's the old give-and-take, the endless struggle of the genders to meet in the middle. Men are trained to be cowboys and astronauts, and women are currently leaning towards CEO and legislator, but they're still pulling groups together and watching out for others, while men are trying to be the leading man in their own action film.

    Of course, that has to be toned down a bit, but I exaggerate on purpose. The point is usually when there's this debate, the girlfriend has decided it's time to stop acting like the two have just met, and are not involved, while the guy wants to feel like she's his primary option out of the whole herd. Women value the relationship side more and men (at first) enjoy the thrill of getting together with this hot babe so often.

    I think once you go from "you and I" to "we," that's a relationship. Two individuals meet up at the movies. Couples go there together. That sort of thing. If you both assume you're spending time together this weekend, surprise, you're a couple. That can happen overnight, or it could take months.

    I don't know if titles are going to change, but I think couples have always been couples, "we" have always been an "us", and if you like a guy, and you know you're a couple, let him call himself Big Daddy and you Sugar Baby, if that floats his boat.

  • When you slap on a title expectations come with it, either from the person you're sharing time with (and that's really all any relationship is, is a mutual desire to share time) or from others observing the relationship.

    If two people want to live like they are single, but want to f*** like rabbits and occasionally spend quality emotional time together, I can completely understand why neither would want the title of "boyfriend" or "girlfriend" slapped on them, even if neither is seeking another partner.

  • i swear I read "titties". OK I'm leaving now


What Girls Said 1

  • I agree now a days it seems like more people worry over the little things in life & forget to enjoy life while we can :)