Intimidating to what I want?

Within the last few years. I have become very business oriented. The norm became dating nerdy girls; like myself and see how that went. Within the last few years. I had lost the pimples, the glasses, put on muscle, and started my own software development company. After doing so, it has come apparent that the more "Nerdy Girls" that I ask out. The more I seemed to be getting the whole "your too intimidating speech". Growing up, I was the small nerdy kid and some how... magically turned out to look exactly like a more muscular Garret Hedlund (The kid from Tron Legacy). During these years of growing up and running the company. My goal was too never put money or objects higher than anyone else. So, I keep myself grounded, and still act as the down to earth person; I had always been.

Within the last year, not only have I gotten the whole speal on being "too intimidating", but most of the girls I am attracted too. Aren't the most beautiful or gorgeous women in the world. Its the gorgeous girls who want to date, but they just aren't my type and it has come apparent. That I am turning down more gorgeous women, then actually finding a "nerdy girl. As per the one I would rather be with. For me... Always trying to keep a smile, having humility, being humorous, sweet, old style romantic, and honest. Has always been traits and morals that I live by.

So the real question comes down to this. What can a guy like me do? How can I be honest with a girl when she asks me what I do for a living and my hobbies. Without them feeling intimidated and feeling as if they don't belong with me (Nerdy Girls). The last two serious girlfriends would constantly complain on how much they thought I could do better, but yet never even bothered to think that they themselves, may be better. Any input would be amazing, and hopefully an answer to my question might help my finally be able to find a nice, nerdy, and fun loving woman.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Have you ever watched Rocky?

    You're Rocky in this case. And Adrian, (in the movie) thought he was way too good for her, but he pursued her with the same single minded determination that her pursued the world title.

    I think it's a movie you'd find inspiration from. Check it out, with a view to the relationship side of things.

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What Girls Said 2

  • I think the issue is on them, not you. Intelligent women tend to suffer from impostor's syndrome, where we think we do not deserve our success and the attention that comes with it (in this case that's you!). It unfortunately results in same mindset that geeky guys face when they find themselves attracted to women supposedly 'out of their league'. We feel insecure that your awesomeness may result in you leaving us and finding someone better. Smart girls are logical, we analyze and take calculated steps even with men.

    It sounds silly. I used to be the shy, nerdy girl who had wild crushes on guys whom I thought would never bat an eye for me. Because I didn't get much attention in school, unlike the more outgoing, attractive girls, it initially shocked me as an adult that attractive, smart, socially competent men are genuinely interested in me. Many even felt that I was too good for them. It takes a certain amount of courage and self-acceptance to tell myself that I've worked hard and done well for and deserve a partner who is all of the above.

    With that said I don't think you've found the right girl yet. There's no reason for you hold back in expressing your hobbies and ambitions just so that someone else may feel secure about themselves. I think you need to look for women who have gone through a period of personal growth the same way you did. We're out there, keep looking!

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  • Why don't you go for nerdy and attractive girls? We do exist you know.

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    • I guess my concern is where do I find these girls. Also, the issue comes down to tons of other guys wanting them just for their looks as well.

What Guys Said 0

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