How do I get him to call me/text me and want to see me because it seems like it has died down?

its always that when the relationship starts, the guy does everything to get the girl. once he has her, it never is quite the same..even though he still does like her.

i have been talking to this really nice guy for 3 months almost 4. he would ALWAYS call to see me and text me a lot. after we kissed and after I told him I liked him though, I feel like he knows he has me so he does not put in as much effort as before.

i know he still likes me but usually when we text, he won't respond for a while and I tend to freak out and text again and again. I should just wait for a reply but I get scared. I know I should not because once I waited two days and he eventually responded like I knew he would. I guess he realized then that I was not going to chase after him.

i don't want him to think he has me in the palm of his hands but I feel like he does. he knows I am crazy for him. I always text back fast because I don't like playing games but it makes me think that he probably thinks I'm at home waiting for each text.

how do I get him to chase me like before? I know most girls want this too..do I wait a day to text him? do I sound busy? I mean..i know games are childish but honestly, most of us play it and at this point I don't care.

please help me out..and try to understand where I am coming from.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Every relationship works that way. You're in the honeymoon phase right away and everything is fresh and new and you're excited about each other. It can't last forever though, we fall into comfort with the other person and let our guard down. That's the time that you truly get to know one another though. Do you like him enough to want to keep him? If you do, DO NOT text him repeatedly, the more you do that crap, the less he will want to respond. He wants you to want him, but looking desperate is NOT attractive. Quit with the game talk, that'll push him away too. If you want a guy to chase you then break up with them when it stops and start a new relationship. He shouldn't have to chase you forever, that would be exhausting. If you want more attention from him, why don't you do something nice for him that he will like? Quit thinking about what YOU want so much and try to focus on how you can make him happy. He will be far more interested in pleasing you if you treat him well. You sound very high maintenance, relax a bit.

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    • trust me I am not high maintenance at all. I usually do so much for the guy. he hurt himself I literally baked him a cake and walked to his house. I do a lot but I feel like the more I do the less they give. it happened before where I did everything for my ex and instead of appreciating it, he demanded it. I want this guy to give effort back like he used to but yea I should be less clingy. I should not text him more than once until he responds. I feel like he thinks I'm obsessed.

What Guys Said 2

  • I know exactly what its like to be the guy in this situation lol. I am surprised he started doing this after the kiss, normally its after the first time you guys have sex. Anyways only time I started chasing after a girl again was when she actually stopped talking to me and that me wonder what the hell happened. I'm sure he thinks he has you in the palm of his hand and he is enjoying that feeling of having you constantly chase after him. I would also try just talking to him about it, tell him exactly what you feel and what you miss. I'm pretty sure he likes you a lot still but that part of him won't be so obvious until he starts to think something might have happened when you stop talking to him. Like I said if he is mature enough then he will listen to you and start trying to at least give a little something, if not then the whole thing will start to become a one sided relationship where he gets everything from you and you get nothing, and that never ends up good.

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    • thanks hun. you helped a lot. I tried telling him a few days ago I played it off a little bit but I wanted him to hang out with me. he said it was last minute so I said "you could have still came but oh yea you like seeing me once a year." I also told him that I hate the fact that he asks me out 30 minutes before because a proper date should be a few hours in advance. he got really nice after that and the next day he asked me out..but now it is reverting back. I feel like actions speak louder th

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    • Ok if I were you I would try texting him once a day or calling him once a day and just saying "hi" or "how are you?" basic stuff like that. If he doesn't respond to stuff like that once a day at least, then I would ask him if something was wrong. Then just take it from there, if he cares about you he should tell you something unless he wants to keep playing games...

    • we were texting yesterday and he stopped replying at 10 at night..we usually text all night so I don't know what it is. I am going to give him his space because I feel that is what he wants right now.

  • By putting in effort... What you are doing, that thing where you are trying to get him to chase you... Yeah that's a game... You are needy. You want him to pour energy into you endlessly without giving back. That sh*t gets old quick... Thus you are where you are.

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    • i have tried a lot. that's the thing. the more I try, the more he backs off. I feel clingy because I ask him to hang out and all that..i say I miss you he does not.

What Girls Said 3

  • I do not think all relationships start with a guy chasing & doing everything. I wouldn't trust that. its not reasonable. sounds like something you do, so you can get something, then kick back & stop thinking about it.

    if ud both made an effort, in the beginning, ud have something between you to maintain. this way ., you are trying to maintain him wanting you & you being wanted. you also do not knows how he handles you initiating things, as you didnt, in the beginning. another reason I don't trust one person initiating-evberything. you don't know if they can handle anyone else. being proactive.

    instead of texting him and have him ignore u. why not decide what you want to do with him, & let him know. split the power more equally. if he's not interested, id say move on.

    if he won't make an effort, and does not respond when you make an effort, how exactly are you guys I a relationship?

    i think you are , understandably feeling like you are not in a real relationship. decide how you want things to be, make an effort towards that. if he's not on board, you guys are not compatible.

    its not you texting or not texting. its whether you both want to be together AND,in a similar way.

    i e if he wants to be with you as long as you never bother him, that's not really being together. if you want to be with him, but only if it goes exactly how you want it, your not together,

    decide what you want, talk to him, see if you guys can work it out together.

    not everyone who likes each other, can actually be in a mutual relationship. often at least one person is miserable, despite strong feelings. its no ones fault. just incompatibility.

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    • thank you so much. I do feel like me and him are on different pages. this opened my eyes.

    • You are very welcome ;-)

  • im in the same situation...dating for about four months. I told him how I actually felt about him. For some reason he didn't believe me. Its like as soon as I told him he got comfortable...im going to stop contacting him. He has my fb and phone number. he knows how to reach me

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  • Any updates? I am in a similar situation and it really sucks.

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