Is it time for me to just accept it and move on?

Okay if you look at my profile and questions I've posted before about love etc... You will see I'm sort of just wandering around in a daze, lost, confused, lonely, and clueless.

Right now I'm at an impasse that must be crossed, I would rather do it sooner than later.

I'm at the point now where I think I should just accept that I'm single, give up on trying to find love and just try to live my life happily alone without someone.

Not close up my heart, but to just reserve myself and set my self to the fact that I'm now going to be 27, I've never had a girlfriend nor does it look like I ever will. Rather than torment myself with ideas that anything will change simply because I want it and wish for it and tried to work at it. It simply just isn't happening.

I don't know if it's fate, karma, poor judgment, something is waiting for a later time to spring it upon me, or if it's all just a bad dream that I'll later wake up from. I have no idea what it is.

So do any of you think that this will be for better or for worse? Should I just stop trying to fool myself and try to be happy without it, live my life focused on other things that have nothing to do with women? Or do you think I should try harder and continue on this path I'm currently on as the 40year old loser...

Sorry, right now I've a bad attitude because I'm a little bitter and somewhat upset at the idea. My friend is telling me he loves being single, but the guy has had girlfriends and hell a girl asked him to marry HER! So he has an objective opinion on the whole deal. I don't, so I get confused at that concept...

Anyways I'm rambling on and could sit here explaining all my points and facts...

Without delay,

Please explain yourself with some detail if you would. Thank you in advance.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think you should focus on being happy with yourself, single. At the end of the day, you are the only person you can't get away from so self-happiness is essential (easier said then done, I know). However, that doesn't mean stop looking/trying either. It's probably safe to say that life isn't going to magically get you a date, so ignoring women completely will shut you off, even if you don't intend for it.

    Explore new activities, develop hobbies, go to places and events alone just for you. You might surprise yourself at how OK it is to do this stuff solo. If you happen to meet some new people while doing this-awesome, even if it's only friends. In your spare time, you can try making a dating profile out there and see what happens. It's all about networking. Even if the girl you meet at a coffee shop isn't really interested in you, her friend might be so developing friendships is a strong key.

    I hope this helps you out, and as long as you don't go into anything with the focus of finding a girlfriend, you'll be able to enjoy it if you don't, and possibly be surprised if you do.

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    • Hmm I do enjoy doing stuff solo, but I don't enjoy the idea of wanting to say how great this is to no one.

      But as they say you have to take the good with the bad.

      Thank you for the advice, yes I should be more happy with what I have than what I don't. I am blessed more than I give myself credit for.

What Girls Said 2

  • Don't understand why you are having problems meeting women you seem intelligent, if you talk anything like you write you seem open and honest. Perhaps a tad desperate though, fastest turn off ever. If your pic is recent you're a good looking guy. seems like you lack confidence and motivation. Find some hobbies that interest you, sporting activities, attend a local church. All these things are a great place to meet people some single some not, but even the married ones are a good resource for meeting other singles. Just keep making friends until something pans out. If you meet a woman you like display interest ask her about herself, and then really listen to what she says. I like it when guys ask me to do things in a no pressure way (with a group of friends), then progress to dating. If I'm interested I'll give him signs by telling him what a good time I had (even if it wasn't all that fun) and suggesting we do it again some time or just saying thanks. That is usually an invitation to get ask me for a date, if I'm not interested I won't contact again. Hope this helps good luck.

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    • Thank you, and yes indeed I may just give that a shot. I don't have much to base anything off of, well nothing from a female friend to help me out.

      Thank you for the info, you take care of yourself friend.

  • I think you're putting too much emphasis on not having a girlfriend. So what? There are much worse situations. Get to know people. If anything will happen, it will naturally. Do what you enjoy doing, see what the world has to offer. Don't think that you have to be a certain way or expect something strongly. Things are unpredictable. Planning something that doesn't end up going well is not good. It's better having things up in the air, having something come your way, and appreciating it. If you're lonely, socialize with more people. They can be interesting and you can be surprised of who you come across and what you learn. Of course, I'm younger than you and not in your situation, so I don't know if this is helpful. If a woman is what you want, you can try to meet a good one. But just don't be too hard on yourself or the result of the situation.

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    • Thank you. You're probably right, I've been told this before. I'm just tired, tired of being told these things and yet I'm not out of the situation. Tired of wanting to do what is said I should do, but later finding I'm not able to do so because it would involve putting myself FIRST and others second for a change. I'm my own worse enemy/critique, and I want to try and help people too much at times, I'm slightly more passive than I should be as well so yea... I can see your point.

      Thank you.

What Guys Said 2

  • Why don't you get your friend to give you advice on girls? Having some kind of experienced mentor is always the best way to learn.

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    • Because advice on women is given the same way all guys give advice. Go talk with them, yes indeed go talk. Talking has not done well for me so far. Also this guy says he has no clue. I've tried to talk about it with him, but it turns into typical har har and jokes...

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    • No I am sorry my friend, I know what you are trying to say and to be honest though I've heard people say stuff like you said only to be mean or just laugh in my face. It's tiresome, perhaps you didn't know my situation and Perhaps I didn't know yours.

      Let us just forget that whole ordeal of being hostile towards each other. I'll extend my hand in apology, will you accept?

    • Yes. I'm sorry for any hostility you sensed. It was unintentional. I know I get aggressive with these types of questions, but that's because I can't stand it when a guy complains about his life yet doesn't do anything to improve it. I just assumed you were like that based on looking at this question and your past questions as you requested, but I guess I don't know enough about your situation, like you said.

  • Dude

    You know the answer to this question before you even submitted it

    I'm not going to lie but I didn't read your entire question

    but this is what I have to say

    You know you should let it go

    Stop focusing on one girl. There are 3 billion girls in this world. You're bound to like another one!

    If she doesn't like you then another one will. If one girl doesn't like you then the world doesn't end! (If your world does, then you got bigger problems!)

    Pick yourself up and be happy with yourself. There are some people out there that would give anything to be where you are now.

    "Because at the end of the day, the most important thing is to look into that mirror and like what you see. And if you don't you have all of tomorrow to work on it"

    There's worse things in life then not having a girlfriend. Seriously.

    I learned this and it's really true but cliche.

    But you cannot love other before you love yourself

    and no one wants to love you until you love yourself.

    Why would anyone want to be with someone who doesn't even like themselves?

    I mean you have spent 27 years with you. If you don't like you, there's a problem! (Get it? haha)

    Pick yourself up and be happy

    Stop blaming other things.

    Stop complaining whatever

    What's meant to happen will happen regardless

    If you're meant for greatness you'll achieve it regardless, the only variable is time.

    You shouldn't give up on love but rather hold out for the one that matters

    Remember opportunity doesn't always present it self in high heels and a cocktail dress.

    No excuses.

    Keep your head up high and keep going.

    Don't stop for anything because if you stop, the world keeps going.

    The world doesn't stop for anybody

    Hope I helped! Good luck!

    I have a few quotes on my profile if you'd like! (You can skip the religious ones if that's not your thing)

    P.s. I did read the whole question as I answered this Q. I just didn't go back and refer to the other question(s).

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    • Indeed, perhaps I need a kick in the ass, no I'm happier today than when I posted this question. I get in dark moods and that's not the best times to post.

      But I get what you say. Only help yourself do not expect to be helped before you do.

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