I hanged out with a guy last night. I NEED advice.

We just hanged out in his room, nothing sexual happened.. I did give him a massage, and rubbed his chest and abs... we were close to each other. This guy is so beautiful, it scares me. I've been told I was beautiful... but not like this guy. He is stunning. I feel like he is out of my league. While we were hanging out, he would check his phone.. but he won't text back. He seemed a little shy, cause he didn't look at my face a lot. I told him from the start. "We're not gonna hook up, I'm not that type of girl. We're just gonna hang out." He said that's cool. I guess that's why he didn't try to kiss me or make a move. I'm crushing so bad... When I left he was gonna walk me home, I told him he didn't have to. When I got home, he texted me asking me if I got home safe, I said yes. Then he started to say that he wants me to go over again, he even CALLED me, he never called me. I guess it was cause I was in bed and I didn't text back. I didn't want to give in. So I fell asleep. NOW, I can't stop thinking about him... A guy that practically blows up my phone with text and a call to "come over" after I just got home from his house. Why do you think he did that, any advice? I don't want to get attached...


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Alright, you have to be confident in yourslef. I know what it feels like doubting yourself, always asking whether or not you're worthy of a person liking you and loving you and it doesn't help. First off, good for you for stating what was most predominantly on your mind when you went over and that was no sex and he was a gentleman respecting your statement and he clearly didn't cross any boundaries with you. You being afraid he only wants one thing from you and being afraid of getting attatched is all in your hands. My best advice is to TAKE THINGS SLOW. See him again, spend time with him, most importantly, get to know him. If you take things slow and he is respectful and open and doesn't push you for sex, then you know things are going great and he doesn't just want one thing from you. When I take things slow with a girl, its usually a month and a half+ before we have sex, and in the end we know each other well enough and the experience is better because we've established a deep connection and know that we are together for many reasons.

    We're all afraid of being hurt, I know what its like becoming attatched to someone and only have things fall apart later on, its painful, but the two biggest things that hurt you and others when it come to dating and relationships is believing that worthy of someone liking you and always being afraid of being hurt. Trust and believe in yourself, you women come equipped with super instict powers, most of the time you know what's going on so never doubt who you are. And being afraid of getting hurt because you got attatched...its better to experience life with hurt rather than not experience life at all because fear stopped you from acting. Do you want to pull away from this guy only to look back years later wondering what could have been between you two? Vulnerability is something few humans have the courage to show but its only times when we are vulnerable that we experience love, connection, and life

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    • I agree...but you also should let him know you like him. He might think you are trying to friend zone him. You got to let him know you like him a little more than just friends, but you want to take things slow.

What Guys Said 11

  • Is your goal to be 85, single in an old people's home high fiving your friends for not getting attached and hurt?

    live life, take risks.

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    • haha yeah probably she wants to follow what other people are doing

    • I don't want to follow anyone, I want what's best for me. That's why I'm hear asking for advice...

    • I'll mention he may have taken 'we're not hooking up ... we're just gonna hang out' as 'don't kiss me'.

      If what you really meant is 'i don't hook up with guys I'm not dating', maybe you should say so.

  • First off, no one is out of anyone else's "league." That's a childish, immature way of looking at relationships.

    If you don't want to get attached, then what do you want?

    Stay away from him and tell him you just want to be friends if you really don't want him. Otherwise go for it and see where it takes you. Just be careful and remember to use protection.

    Good luck.

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    • I would like a relationship with him. Thanks so much. I'll keep that in mind.

    • If you want a relationship with him, then the first thing to do is to ask him what he thinks about it.

      Guys only have about 1% of the empathy women do, so remember to be open and honest (preferably be blunt about it).

  • He seems to like you and you obviously really like him. If he's as great as you say, then he won't be on the market long. You should go after what you want. You need to get to know him better before you start saying you don't want to get attached. I'm guessing you would love to get attached if you felt that you could trust him not to run off on you. I bet a lot of women would enjoy the attention. You need to relax and have fun. If you fall in love great...if not, then I doubt you will have much trouble finding someone else! Don't play hard to get. You can go after what you want and still have control,and limits as to how far you're willing to go in the relationship.

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  • Beautiful men need a chase. If it's easy its not fun and he'll quickly lose interest if you give in too early. Some how you need to give him a taste but leave him wanting more without succumbing to temptation yourself.

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  • Go to him, at least try to be an adult. A lot of girls say they don't like to be attached to guys because of (insert pointless reason here)

    what does that mean, you don't want to get attached to someone you might love? lol.

    You're just hurting yourself doing what you're doing.

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  • damn man how attractive is he to make a girl like feel shy? some people have a gift

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    • He is very attractive. He's a model too

  • leagues don't exist

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  • I would be weary of the massage because it could lead to sexual things

    Don't worry about the looks

    Be confident.

    You are very pretty

    Don't let his call throw you off

    Act as if what you did didn't effect anything. He's your friend and you're just chillin' (Hard I know)

    Good Luck!

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  • lol @ nothing sexual happened!

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    • good one. like rubbing his abs is is something we do since preschool

    • Lol right? It's definitely something her momma would approve of hahaha!

  • Well first off looking at your profile, you are gorgeous(seriously, wow), so I can see why he's after you so much, and the fact that he keeps trying to get you to come over means he's really trying to get you to have sex with him, the description of your interaction sounds like a "so close yet so far" situation and he may consider it a challenge.

    Otherwise you'd hang out other places than just his room. Be really careful with him.

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  • He knows how to charm you, and he's gonna do it until you give him what he wants.

    Or until he gets bored chasing you.

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What Girls Said 3

  • He likes you this sounds like it could be the start of something good. But ide also warn you to be careful because these days guys have they ways of making woman like them just to have sex with him. I'm not saying he's doing this just be careful cause I've had experience with good looking guys and they know they are hot so sometimes they will play the girl. Don't get attached I know its easier said then done but let him chase you a bit not a lot just a little by showing him you have a life outside of him and stuff. I think he likes you.

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  • You don't want to get attached? Hun, you already are!

    Arrange to meet up with him again, tell him how much you loved last time and don't say ANYTHING about not hooking up. He sounds like a guy who wouldn't pounce or go to far, and if he's not getting the message, lean in, don't kiss him, just breathe and tilt your head and get close to him. Then it's up to him to take the chance.

    Who knows? He could be your soulmate, don't waste the chance.

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  • No homo but you are beautiful lol! But as for this guy it kinda depends on his personality. You said he's very good looking and handsome, so most guys that know their good looking tend to have that show-off type of attitude. Also keep in mind he's good looking, he wants a chase. He seemed pretty chilled and laid back which is a plus. There's no doubt that he is obviously interested you in some way. In my opinion based off of your story, even though you made it clear to him you guys weren't going to have sex, you gave him a massage. However, you giving him the massage couldve meant something totally different in his head even though it couldve just been a massage to you. Yeah, I think he probably wanted to take it to the next level if you know what I mean =/ ...

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    • I seriously hate when people say "no homo".. can someone not give another person a compliment without people thinking they're gay?!?!

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