Is it possible to be in a serious/longterm relationship after having sex early

I was just always tought that if I want a man to really fall for me and care about me, then I should not give up my goods so soon. If he is only after sex then he will leave and if he really wants to know me then he can wait.

This question is for guys too. Have you ever been in a relationship with a woman who started out as just sex? Is that even possible? Does it work out? Do you just loos interest in the girl? Why do you loose interest?

I'm just really curious because I know a guy who says he wants a relationship and can tell ya all the things hewants in a relationship but his way of getting to know a girls personality (I guess) is to try and get her in bed instead of going on a date (whch does not make sense to me lol)

I also know a girl who says she does not want a relatonship but yet she had feelings for her friend-with-benifits


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Most Helpful Guy

  • It happens. It doesn't always work but it happens. I was in a three (plus) year relationship with a girl I had sex with on the first night, and currently I am in a relationship with a girl for over five years, and I had sex with her before we got together.

    Now to answer your other questions.

    "Have you ever been in a relationship with a woman who started out as just sex?"

    Yes. I just told you about two of them.

    "Is that even possible?"

    Yep. See above.

    "Does it work out?"

    Sometimes, but not always.

    "Do you just lose interest in the girl?"

    Nope. That's not the kind of guy I am.

    "Why do you lose interest?"

    I don't.

    As for your guy. I don't quite get him really, because that's not how I work. I'm never aiming for just sex, it just kinda happens. the whole thing about chemistry and things being really good, and one thing leading to another. That's what I mean. As for your guy,I can only guess. Like maybe he's trying to form a physical bond by having sex with these girls. Maybe also seeing if the sex is compatible, and wants to get it all out of the way in the beginning. Maybe figures he'd be able to get a more honest conversation after the sex, when you're all naked or something. Hell I don't know. I think maybe you should ask him what his thought process is on that, because it really doesn't entirely make sense to me either.

    Now about your girl with the feelings for her friends with benefits. I guess she's got feelings for him and doesn't want a relationship because she's afraid of getting hurt, or rejected. Maybe not even that. Maybe she knows it's all wrong between him and her, but she just has feelings for him because of that physical connection. I don't know. I don't know either of them or their situations.

    So did this help at all?

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What Guys Said 1

  • i really don't think so from my personal experience. If sex is the reason you guys got together, sex will be the demise of it (either lack of later on or lost interest). cliche but, the best things in life are worth waiting for.

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What Girls Said 6

  • I can't speak for anyone but myself, but without a doubt, the strongest, most stable, solid relationship I have ever been in is with my current boyfriend, and I had sex with him within days of it being official.

    I'd known him for two years prior, though I only really started to like him as a person a month or two before we started dating. He caught me when I was a really severe low, and he unknowingly was the person to pull me out of it. Even after that, I still only wanted him to be a fling. He wanted something more substantial, and he refused to so much as kiss me until I made the final decision to date him.

    We've always had good sexual chemistry, but it took some getting to know him to find out that our personalities compliment each other as well. Never have I known anyone who made me feel this way in particular. I didn't have sex with him so early just because I wanted to get physical. I was already incredibly at ease in his company, and that's something that has carried over just as much as the heat in the relationship.

    At this point, I'm sold on the idea that having sex early on didn't harm the relationship at all. I think it has really added to everything all along. I'm almost always the person who is ready to leave first, and that's how this relationship started. However this is the only guy I've ever been able to seriously consider keeping around indefinitely, and I know that among the many reasons for that, the sex is quite a factor.

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  • I think that it's kind of true, in my case it was true because I wouldn't have sex with my boyfriend for a full year after we started dating, and he agreed fully. A lot of people said he wouldn't stick around but sure enough we fell completely head over heels in love.

    I'm never been the type to just have I always prided myself on that because if I know a relationship wouldn't work out for moral reasons or because we wanted different things in life I wouldn't even bother trying to start a relationship or even concider sex.

    I would like to think that's the reason I have a strong relationship, I don't think we would be where we are together now how we are if it wasn't for us waiting.

    We just got engaged and I don't regret waiting so long... Even though it was REALLY hard to do!

    Plus you know a guy loves you if he will keep it in his pants for an entire year!

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  • Possible if the guy is not just look for sex. If there are strong chemistry between the you two and yes it will work out.

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  • A past friend of mine pretty much bounced her now boyfriend of multiple years within the first week.

    I wouldn't say that's the norm though...

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  • Don't do it. You ll know WITHOUT having to take off your clothes if he's genuine about you. Plus, no worries about stds /stow and pregnancy and getting attached to and as$ hole too soon

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  • This might not exactly answer your question because my relationship didn't start off as friends with benefits but my relationship has been a great one after having sex early. We had sex about 2 weeks after becoming official and we've been together for a year and a half now (still have sex a lot and still a really great, genuine relationship). So it's possible, I think you just have to be smart and try and figure out the other person's intentions

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