i have talked to a guy for four months. we hit it off. it was great and I was so happy to find him. he would call text and want to hang out.
we had a talk in which he revealed a lot. basically he did not want a girlfriend. he did not want to emotionally invest in a relationship. he said "dont get attached." but I thought, that is impossible. he had been hurt by a girl and I guess was not open to love any more. I don't know how he saw me but I thought if we spent time together, he would change his mind.
it went great for a while but last week it got weird. today I asked him why he was being distant and he said he did not want to lead me on. we were both beginning to get comfortable..or I thought. I guess he realized I was getting attached when I would want to see him and when I'd bring up romance. basically, he thought I was getting attached and he told he how we are just talking and living in the moment. I was so hurt because I honestly thought he would change his mind about us. I lied and said I was not though..i did not want to look like a fool.
i don't know how anyone could close off being attached to someone when they talk to each other every day. I don't know why he could not be open to finding love again. I wish he would give it a chance but he won't. he is a great person but that one girl made him change his views on love. now I feel like I need to move on because I am wastin my time. I feel like timing was wrong. idk..
please anyone, have you been in my shoes? I really need to know if I should give up all hope
Most Helpful Girl
Im in the same position. My ex and I were together for 9 intense, serious deep months. He is 25 and I'm 22 and we've never had a connection with anyone like this before. He broke up with me and came back 7 months later stating it was a mistake and he missed me.
In the past 4 months I have been getting mixed signals. He tells me he isn't ready for a relationship because the break up was to painful but yet says that he came back because he missed me, breaking up with me was a mistake, that he doesn't get attached easily to people (he is VERY VERY independent/loner) but its different with me. Once he saw me dancing with a guy and we didn't hang out for a month and told me if he gave me his heart not I do anything to take it back.
He is very CONFUSING and I can't take it anymore. He wants me but doesn't want to be WITH me and doesn't want anyone else to have me.
I am thinking it is best to walk away for now. I have put in my time, I have been patient but I can't do this forever.
YOU can't do this forever. It has been months and his mind is still the same. Sometimes men need time to think about what they want and the risks they are willing to take. Right now he has everything that he wants, he knows you are there, you are making yourself available to him so why would he want more when he has it now.
He needs something to motivate him, only he can change his view. I need to talk to kevin as you need to talk to this guy.
You have put in your time, you have been open, now its his turn. You need to say that you understand his position and that you respect his decision but it is HIS decision not YOUR decision. Tell him calmly what you would like and why. Than leave it in his course. It take's a while to open up about love, and sometimes a little motivation is needed.0