How far in advance should you organize a date?

One that doesn't require a reservation or anything, that is. How far in advance should you invite the other person? The morning of, the afternoon of, 24 hours before, 36 hours before, two days before, etc...

So, this is assuming it's not a date that needs to be organized in advance or anything, like a dinner reservation or something. Just, say, if you wanted to take someone bowling for example. It's also assuming the date is in the evening.

One possible thing could be to say, text them the day before to see if they're free the next day, and then call them the day of to clarify the details. Does something like that sound good?

  • Ask them the day of
    1% (2)2% (2)2% (4)Vote
  • Ask them the night before and clarify the details at the same time
    20% (30)9% (7)16% (37)Vote
  • Ask them the night before and clarify the details the next day
    16% (25)5% (4)12% (29)Vote
  • Ask them earlier than the night before
    55% (84)67% (54)59% (138)Vote
  • Other / see answers because I'm too lame to answer :(
    8% (12)17% (14)11% (26)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • For a casual date, 1-2 days. For a more formal date, 3-7 days. This assumes that it is early in the relationship.

    There are a couple of reasons to give her this extra time:

    1. Lots of girls enjoy the anticipation, and having something to look forward to can keep them happy all week long.

    2. Girls often like to think about the date, and about you, and just ponder all of the possibilities, and so they need time to do that.

    3. Girls definitely want to be able to tell their friends about the date, and about you, and talk about you with them. Just like guys enjoy having a pretty girl on their arm, girls enjoy "showing you off" by talking about you with their friends.

    4. Many girls spend a lot of time and effort to look good for us guys, and that may mean going through her whole closet, trying on outfits. It may even mean going shopping just for the date, or going over to her friends' houses and trying on all of THEIR clothes too, before deciding on what to wear. Guys can usually get ready for a date in 30 minutes, but for girls it can be a multi-day process.

    As you've been on a few dates and aren't SO concerned with impressing each other on the SURFACE, then people tend to get more comfortable and don't need quite so long to plan ahead, though given that people have busy schedules, it's still appreciated.

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    • Damnnn. This clears a looot up for me. Thanks.

    • These are all good, but you forgot one very important reason to ask several days in advance...She may have other plans. Yes, that's right, she may not be sitting around waiting on you to ask her out. So ask days in advance before she makes other plans. You snooze you lose.

    • Yes, very true. It's kind of obvious, but I still should have listed it. Thanks!

What Girls Said 16

  • Well, if it's just a random "let's go bowling" type of date, then you can just casually surprise them an hour or so before. Just enough time for them to get ready.

    If it's something that you have to plan out, by all means give it time. Because you want to make sure they are actually free.

    I hate when my boyfriend plans something and doesn't tell me at all before. And expects me to drop everything and go do something with him. Don't get me wrong, I love surprises, but at least give me some time to get ready. I live a busy life, and so do many other people.

    So you have to at least give them some notice so that they can think about what else they have to do or might be doing. Like work or what not. Give them a chance to reschedule if need be.

    But if you know they are free, then it's okay to surprise them. Or at least tell them to stay free that day-that is probably the best approach because then you know they are available

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  • I would say ask them earlier than the night before (a few days before, or even a week + if you're being formal) and set up the details at the same time. But you could also confirm the plan the night before the date if you haven't talked since the day the date was made, to make sure that everything is still in order.

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    • I guess it really depends on the relationship between you two. Is it a first date with someone you don't know well, or is it an outing with your long term partner who you already see every day? That will make a big difference. Do what seems appropriate for the situation you're in. The formally polite thing to do is to plan a date farther in advance as opposed to not as far, because it shows that you care about the other person's schedule and that the date isn't just an afterthought.

    • I don't know her well at all haha.

    • Then it's probably a good idea to plan about a week in advance.

  • I'd like about 2 days in advance, just so that I don't have to try and coordinate plans, or always turn the other person down because I have other commitments. If they give me spontaneous "hey wanna do this later today, tomorrow, etc" and I'm free then it's fine, but I wouldn't suggest relying that for every time

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  • That sound's great! But, I prefer alittle more time. The reason I say this is if I really like the guy. I want to look my best for him. Maybe, I would like to buy a new outfit just for that important person. Maybe, I would want to get a pedicure if I have'nt had the time to get one earlier. I alway's want to look my best for my guy.

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  • How long have you been seeing them? If it's a new thing, I'd give them at least three or four days. I, personally, love to know ahead of time. I like my schedules.

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  • With the cancellations I've done I prefer the same day notice because a lot of my plans get too shuffled. One guy went as far as getting a hotel room and arranging dinner when the day started lol because our plans never worked out lol but that day it did because he was solid on his choice

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  • Give them a couple of days atleast...giving her a day/couple of hours is like asking her to drop any plans she might have that day...also, give her time to respond. I mean, what if she has work that day or has to babysit? What if she was invited to a party or is going out with friends? Give her at least 2 days so she can plan for it and make sure she has nothing else planned.

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  • While women do like time to prepare for some dates, the bigger thought here is that we women ofter have other plans. So ask us many days prior or you may just get the, "thanks but I have other plans, rain check?"

    By asking early, you are also showing her respect, that you don't feel she has nothing else going on in her life but sit around and wait for a phone call from you. K?

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  • a few days before is good.

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  • I think it depends on the girl I prefer earlier than the night before.

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  • Anytime is good. Be spontaneous.

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  • I can't say, I picked "c" but my boyfriend and I are in a long distance relationship, our first date will be at the end of July (our 3 months) and we will be staying together for a whole week

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  • gahhh I'm too lame! :(

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  • At least four days in advance. People are busy. Too many guys get discouraged because a girl can't drop everything to go on a date with them, and then start acting weird, like she rejected him, instead of being too busy.

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  • if you have been seeing each other for a while it does not have to be so far in advance but I would ask her a few days in advance. it makes you look like you care more, leaves a better impression. it is also nice to call her and ask.

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  • A week ahead preferably, if they work a lot and study full time like myself. Even then sometimes I will take extra shifts over date plans.

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What Guys Said 8

  • The sooner you do it the less likely a person will be free, you should give at least a buffer of 3 days just to make sure someone can move their schedule to accommodate you assuming they have things to do at all. Dropping something in a person's lap mere hours before it goes down kinda sucks.

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  • I don't like any of these choices. You need a "Whenever you feel like asking them" option. Dates don't have to be formal and premeditated. If I meet a girl at a coffee shop I'm not going to ask her out on a date tomorrow. I'm going to turn it into a date right there.

    The same goes for women I already know. The only choice I agree with is planning the details the moment you set up the date. There's no room for beating around the bush. Its as simple as "Hey, lets grab a bite to eat this Friday. I'll pick you up around 8?" Boom. Done. This survey makes it seem way more complicated than it is.

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  • I call a girl when I'm on my way to pick her up. Give her just enough time to throw some cute clothes on and maybe f*** with her hair. Girls love the spontaneity of telling them to be ready in 5 minutes, no matter where you plan on taking her. I urge you to try this at least once, I've never been turned down when doing this

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  • I say up to a week before is good. that way you two can pick a good day of the week to go on the date and than perhaps have a few days to talk about the details of what time and where.

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  • i heard you should do it a week ahead of time. That way you can talk about the details so they can clear their schedule

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  • It depends...The further away you ask the more desperate you look, the closer you ask the more chance there is of her having plans. You have to find the middle ground, which is different for every girl/situation.

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  • I would definitely say 2-4 days in advance, depending on how well you know the girl and if she is working and/or in school. Everyone has a busy schedule so last minute dates tend to not work out.

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  • In my experience, the best is the earlier the better

    Don't wait too long.

    I would say a 1-2 days is best

    Good Luck bro!

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