I don't know how to express to a girl that I am interested in her, I generally just sort of hang around with her more often than I do with others. On the flip side, unless a girl is being deliberately obvious, I don't know any of the signals that indicate her possible interest.
An taking it one step farther, if I do manage to muster the courage, I have no idea how to ask someone out, especially when I don't want to go out with her, I just want to hang out. I do not understand the transition from friendship to relationship, since I've never been there, and have never seen it happen.
Even when I do focus on someone and muster up the courage to act, they invariably find someone else while I am still agonizing over it.
I'm beginning to feel very unloved and lonely, and it's really depressing me. I need help.
Most Helpful Guy
I know what you're feeling. It's tough.
But here are some lessons I've learned over the years:
-Women are hard to read. They rarely give you obvious hints and giant signs. So you have to look for smaller cues. For example, If she looks at you, looks away, then looks back. Of if you "catch" her looking, and she quickly looks away.
-It can sting when a girl declines you for date. But remember that her declining you is not a rejection of you personally. It's about *her*. It doesn't mean you're a bad person, or that you're worthless. It means that *one girl* decided that you're not a good match for her right now. Don't blow it out of proportion. We're not all good matches for each other -- you're not interested in every girl you meet, are you?
-A "no thanks" from a girl is *way better* than never asking her out and tearing yourself up with months of wondering "what if?"
-Dating is a numbers game. You might have to ask out 3 or 4 girls to get 1 date. Then, you might have to date 5-10 girls to find 1 or 2 who are a good match. Remember: Each girl who says "no" is one girl closer to a good match for you. Each date that's a non-starter is gets your numbers up.
-Most women are insecure about their looks. That cute girl you've been to scared to approach is probably worried that those pants make her butt look too big -- she's probably as insecure in her own way as you are in your way.
-Talk to as many girls and women as possible. Old and young, pretty and plain, black and white. Make small talk. Compliment their haircut and earrings. Ask about their job. It's all good practice, and will build your confidence.
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