I recently found a series of dirty texts between my boyfriend and another girl. In them, he told her what it would be like if they had sex, told her he likes to "go south" and that it "would be hot" if they did it, but that he wouldn't try to have sex with her because he was moving to California in a week. There was no mention of him having a girlfriend. When I confronted him about the texts last night, he denied it - said that she texts him on occasion to ask if he's working (he's a bartender) but that's it. He said that he'd been honest with me up until this point (he told me about the two women he slept with while we were broken up for a month) and that, because he's always been honest, I should trust him.
How can I trust him when I KNOW he's lying!? Should I confront him again and tell him I KNOW he's lying because I saw the messages on his phone? Even though I don't condone the lie, I can't help but think that maybe it WAS just a harmless flirtation and he's embarrassed about it, and my bringing it up will only a) show that I invaded his privacy by checking his phone and b) possibly mean the end of our relationship. I have to do something, because every time I'm not with him I have a knot in my stomach and suspect that he's cheating on me. I want to trust him, but I don't know if I should. Help!
Most Helpful Guy
"How can I trust him when I KNOW he's lying?"
You can't trust a liar.
It doesn't matter how badly you want to trust him. Same as it doesn't matter how much I want to date Marylin Monroe.
What's the use of confronting him? Do you expect he'll fall at your feet, confess, and beg forgiveness?
It doesn't work that way. He'll deny, dodge, rationalize, accuse and evade. You'll get a headache. He'll call you names.
Dump him. It might hurt like hell. But if you can't trust him, the relationship's effectively finished.
Dump him. Move on without him. It's over.