He took a DIFFERENT girl to prom and kept it from me?

I'm Sarah, 17, high school student. My boyfriend is Andrew, He's 18, and a high school graduate and future police officer. We've been dating since last November (9 months) and till this past month we were madly in love with the usual bumps in the road but we got over them. Andrew took my v card, asked me to marry him, and wanted to be with me forever. He's my best friend. But, his senior year (which just ended) we had a MAJOR bump.. Were 40 miles apart and go to different schools and he took a DIFFERENT girl to prom and kept it from me, I found out. He apologized and we looked it over and he told her he doesn't want a relationship with her because he's with me. Andrew and I hung out yesterday, first time in 3 weeks and he told me today, that "things aren't the same as they were" only because I wasn't paying all my attention to him, (my bro died a year ago yesterday) and that was on my mind. Understandable, right? Anyway, he doesn't feel the same but I love him, LOVE LOVE LOVE.. What should I do though? Oh, did I mention HE WANTS TO JOIN THE MARINES ASAP. What should I do? Thinking of him in war, hurts me, thinking of him dieing and losing him hurts even more. He doesn't care though, he wants to do anything to be a cop..

.. What do I do?!


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Leave this guy, his love for you isn't very real or strong. You're blinded by the whole "I lost my virginity to this guy" thing and you can't see what's really happening. You said it yourself, he wants to do anything to be a cop and clearly that means not being with you since going to the marines doesn't include taking you with him. The small things like him taking a girl to prom and not telling you and him explicitly saying things aren't the same anymore are all warning signs of him leaving you, it's typical guy behavior, he's letting you go without saying it directly. You've got to let go and move on which sounds awful because you love love love him but this is life. You deserve someone better even though you may look at him as the best guy in the world, he's not. 17 year old Sarah, this is your first painful experience regarding love. It's painful, I know, I've been there. But I promise you, when you get through this (and you will) you'll look back and see how much of a stronger, better person it has made you.

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    • @animalwithin thanks, that helped a lot :) I'm going to call and see how it goes.. by the way, I'm the one who just friend requested you :)

    • You're welcome! The best thing is to talk it out and be truly honest with how you feel. It may not be as grim as I made it out to be, but realize it may be the end for the two of you. I'll accept your friend request! If you ever want to talk or have any questions, shoot me a message! Good luck!

What Guys Said 1

  • I'm glad you saw how shifty that whole prom thing was. How noble of him to not want a relationship with the girl he took to prom because he's in a relationship with you. What a gentleman!

    Ask him what he means if things aren't the same, and if that means he wants to break it off. You need to consider if he's playing you, and if you were that close he should have known about the anniversary of your brothers death (my condolences). Long distance relationships are hard, and if it's your first love you want it to work so bad because you don't think you'll have a love like this again. You'll find love again. I'm sure you're not gruesome. Unless that was the reason he didn't take you to prom. Then sorry, I didn't mean to call you gruesome.

    You're 17 and lost your virginity to him, of course you love love love him. Doesn't Taylor Swift sing songs about this? Being young and stupid? You're young, but you don't have to be stupid.

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    • @TheFuture

      How could he be playing me? I've been with him for 9 months. Wouldn't he have left me by now? He told me that when we went out to eat, I wasn't the same because I didn't seem "there". Plus, the Marines and me being a student and so far away doesn't help either...

What Girls Said 1

  • Look. I was in your place. I was with a guy in high school, and I thought I was in love. He joined the army as well, so I was looking to handling that, because I was going to be with him.

    In reality, he wasn't my type at all. I stayed with him because I lost my virginity to him, and he loved me a lot. (He really did, he was a little obsessed... I was too good for him, honestly.)

    I had thoughts to break up with him after three months, but stayed with him for fourteen. Now, I don't even like thinking about it, because by the end I couldn't stand him.

    I've dated guys since then, settled for them just like I settled for the first guy, and then I decided that was stupid.

    Now I'm with a man I'm so in love with. I can't even imagine a better guy than him. We haven't even mentioned marriage, but deep down I truly hope he's the man I marry one day.

    If I would have stayed with the first guy, I would have never met this guy.

    Never stay with someone if there are signs of you not working out. You can find better love.

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