We hang out every 3-4 weeks....for over a year!? What is going on!?

When we met a year ago, he seemed overly keen and it freaked me out- so I grew distant, then he grew distant, then I grew keen, but he was still angry and said "he wasn't ready for a relationship" So then we just quit hanging out all together.

Fast forward a few months...he calls randomly and we talk on the phone for almost an hour. We start hanging out again regularly. Like clockwork every 3-4 weeks. He's really attractive but reserved, so I initiate us hooking up alot. But I thought it was just casually hooking up.

Then a few weeks ago, he asked to take me to dinner- a really fancy seafood meal that cost loads of money. We went for drinks after, but he said he didn't want to "hook up" because it wasn't sustainable. He said if we were friends with benefits, we should focus on being friends and not just drinking and sleeping together. Anyways... I was having a rough day and I managed to seduce him and we hooked up.

The next morning, he left quite early. I texted him to see if he wanted to hang out "just as friends" over the weekend- but he seemed cold and distant. The next week, I invited him to hang out as friends again- he seemed cold and distant. Now... three-four weeks later (like clockwork) he's taking initiative and wants to hang out again. Wtf?

When I asked him "what do you want from me? You're so hard to read." He says why does he have to want something from me? It's so weird.

The weirdest part is that there has been several occassions when he couldn't get it hard when we were hooking up- so I figured he wasn't that attracted to me. But he says he is and then takes me out to dinner, holds my hand in public, etc.

He has said before that he struggles "getting in the mood" when he feels like sex is forced with someone he cares about- because it's more special then and he takes it more seriously. (what does that mean?!) But five minutes later he'll say how he's not looking for anything.

I don't even know if I like him, but it's getting to the point where I'm just getting really annoyed at this behavior . To make it worse- he's English.

What does all this mean? Should I just quit hanging out with him?


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What Guys Said 1

  • That's way too distant for any meaningful relationship to develop.

    Talk to him about or end things with him. It's just too much time apart.

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