My best guy friend and my boyfriend. Please help me):

So I have this really awesome friend named Ryan and he has had this little crush on me but it's harmless I would never cheat on my boyfriend. Ryan is this adorable (in my opinion) nerdy gamer type boy. Lol (I adore that, but once again I'm no cheater.) and my boyfriend of two years now is this more sporty 'popular' everyone knows he's cute type. I'm honestly shocked he showed interest in me in the first place. Haha. He feels very jealous of Ryan and Insisted on reading our Facebook messages (I complied because I have nothing to hide) I feel worried he's going to make me choose. I mean at one point long ago I felt hope for Ryan to ask me out but he was just to shy.

If I have to choose then who? And why should I have to choose between my boyfriend and friend anyway...both are so sweet.:/

Help, advice?

Thanks!


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What Guys Said 2

  • Are you serious? Who are you with? I don't even know where to start.

    First off, you are cheating. Cheating can be an array of actions that includes other things than sex. You are cheating emotionally. You have an emotional attachment to both guys and the fact that you're asking me who should you choose (if you have to) proves that. If you weren't cheating, you would know right away who you should choose. You obviously don't care about your boyfriend as much as you should.

    Second, you say he has a crush on you that's harmless. First off, a crush on someone who is in a relationship is not harmless. He is disrespecting your currrent boyfriend and should realize that you are taken. On top of that, you at one time wished he wouldve asked you out which means you had/have felings for him. This is why your boyfriend is worried, and has a right to be.

    Third, in your question, you talk so highly about Ryan and very little about your boyfriend. Doesn't this give you any type of hint?

    My honest opinion is you're in a love triangle and you're enjoying it which is wrong. I think since you and this Ryan have such an emotional attachment that I think you should choose mostly because your current boyfriend deserves somebody who cares about him the way a girlfriend should instead of being so caught up on just another friend.

    Finally, I'm not trying to be rude or insult you, but what I'm telling you is the truth. Reverse the roles. If your boyfriend was thinking about his best "girl" friend and found her adorable and didn't know who he would choose how would you feel? This is why what you're doing is emotional cheating. You're having feelings for Ryan that only you should have for your bf.

    I would suggest breaking up with you boyfriend because 1) You care about your friend just as much if not more than him. 2) He deserves better. 3) You also deserve happiness

    I wish you luck with your situation. Just be mature and respectful.

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    • Harsh, but thank you for being honest.

    • Show All
    • You're right trust is a necessity...

    • Its a necessity, but given the circumstances you can't blame him for being suspicious.

  • Long story short, the 2 of you are doing things that are triggering alarms in the boy friend. You are not even aware of ii.

    Looking at what you have said, when someone has to keep saying they are not something. They are trying to convince themselves that they are not that something.

    Stop the games and make a move on Ryan, he has your heart.

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    • Is it possible to be in love with two people? I really do like Ryan and yet I've been with my boyfriend for so long, I feel like he's my best friend.

      This is tough. I hate decisions. Lol

    • There is nothing harmless in a little crush, if your boyfriend notices it and is reacting to it.

      Yes you can love to people at the same time, No you can't be in love with 2 people at the same time.

      The simple fact that you are worried about having to make a choice between them, means you know deep down that you have to make a choice.

    • Hm I see.

      Thank you.:)

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