Should I take this chance..?

I was with this guy, Justin for almost a year. I got raped, and took my emotions about it out on his parents. bad idea. they told him if he didn't leave me they would literally disown him. so he left... now this man and I were gonna get married. and leaving each other was the hardest thing we ever had to do. now to get over him I jumped in the sack with someone who I met two weeks after the break up, charlie. and he also got a rebound and ended up leaving her shortly. now Justin and I contacted each other every now and then after the break up but the other day we actually hung out for the first time since ending it. and we know being together can never happen again , even though I still kind of want to marry him, so we agreed on f*** buddies... I'm kind of okay with it. but we have to sneak around cause if his parents find out he and I are even talking he is dead. I don't want to be the reason for a family falling apart. and I don't want to have to sneak around. and I still have charlie hanging on me, he hates Justin and wants to date me. charlie is able to be around me in public and can come over and I can go over his place and have fun and not sneak around, but I am not in love with him. so my main question is, should I chance it with Justin and try to have a real relationship with him again, or continue the f*** buddy thing with him. or forget Justin and try to find love in charlie?


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What Guys Said 1

  • For a second I thought Justin did the raping and was about to go all daytime talk show audience on you like "Oh nooo, you making a big mistake, girl!" but I guess he wasn't (right?)

    Anyhow, after a certain age, we'll all have to make our own decisions. If you're happy with Justin and he's happy back stick with him. He's aware of the consequences and he'll make the choice, but if his family does disown him he may hold it over you in the future (that's me!).

    Make sure he's into more than just your current arrangement though, that's important because he might have moved on but just enjoys the sex. If he's not, you can't keep doing what you're doing with him because friends with benefits doesn't work if one person wants more than just sex, and you want more than just sex.

    It's on you if you want to keep Charlie around as a side piece. He probably won't mind, but that's a filthy move because you're talking about love. If it was just physical that'd be fine.

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    • i probably should establish if he wants more then sex or not. but he tells me he doesn't want to hurt so doesn't that imply he wants more? and charlie says he loves me and I still haven't said it back. I don't want to lose both of them and I don't know how to make a choice. but I do agree that if only I want something more with Justin that will end badly...

What Girls Said 1

  • Follow your heart. If you want to love Justin, try explaining and apologizing to his parents in a non-violent way, and don't do it in person, that'll only make it worse, write a letter.. If you decide to do it in person don't argue witht them in anyway at all. Just agree. Arguing will make it worse and then give them space. If that sounds like too much time and work, find a love in Charlie or another man. Because just being a f*** buddy with a man you love, could only hurt you. And make you want more.

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