Should I Stay With Him?

I've been dating this guy Jake for half a year now, recently we've been fighting a lot because he tends to get mad at me a lot, he has dumped me twice in the past week then begged for me back, last night he dumped me again because I went to a party where a guy hit on me and whenever that happens he assumes I did back when I didn't, and got really ,ad dumped me called me a bitch said he hated me and deleted me from Facebook and wouldn't tell me why for the longest time, then he came to my house at 2 in the morning and begged for me back so we got back together then I found messages between him and this girl we had issues over before because he was flirting with her and told her he liked her, then he was messaging her last night calling her pretty and telling her to come over and how he misses her and how they would make attractive kids. he doesn't know I know about those messages, I really don't know what to I love this guy so much and I really want all this to stop,

So my question is do you think I should stay with him?

& How do I tell him I know about the girl he was flirting with without telling him I saw his messages


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Most Helpful Girl

  • DONT STAY WITH HIM.

    He obviously has trust issues and is taking it out on you (unless you have given him a reason to not trust you).

    How did you find the messages? Did you snoop through his phone or (im assuming) Facebook?If you did snoop then it seems like you don't trust him either. But aside from not trusting each other, you shouldn't be with him because it seems that when he feels like he may lose you he goes out and finds someone else to replace you.

    So if you have realized that you should not be with him, confront him about the messages and honestly tell him how you found the messages. From there you guys may argue but the bottom line is that he was already looking for someone else ASAP and that just shows how little he really cares about you because he was already looking for Ms. Rebound-Girl. I don't know you nor do I know him but I think you can do better because when a guy really cares he will not over react the way he did. The guy seems to be really immature or has mood swings. And dont' get back with him just because he begs you to or because you think you will do him a favor, in the end it may affect you more because you don't know when he may pull this stunt again of deleting you and calling you names and at that point it may be too late for you to leave him because you may claim that you love him and can't live without him and you won't see his true colors.

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What Guys Said 3

  • These are the types of questions that really makes me lose respect for women. There is a complete absence of logical thought. Who are you kidding, no matter what we say to you I can tell you will always try and justify being with this guy, even though he's basically cheating on you and abusing you.

    The only thing you've done wrong is potentially attended that party. I don't know the details but possibly if you knew there were some guys that would be hitting on you and you knew your Boyfriend was going to be able to go, you shouldn't have gone simply to avoid drama. Not saying you can't go anywhere without him, just sometimes there are situations where even though your intentions are good, its just best to not do it because it looks bad to the other person. Just like, you wouldn't have some other guy sleep over at your house, even though you have no plans of sleeping with him and he's just a friend. Because again, its just looks bad.

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  • How much do you love him? Sounds like pain is part of the package. I would say, dump away. Lotta red flags there, and I think you know it. He's just not ready for a relationship. Let him down easy, be nice, don't rub things in his face. Long term, this will be one of those volatile relationships where you fight, have the best make up sex ever, fight, have the best... Is that how you see it? If UR REALLY into him, it's time for couples counseling and he should pay. If not, time to get out.

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  • This question is unreadable. Try using periods occasionally.

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What Girls Said 3

  • There are way too many trust issues between the –both– of you. The relationship is way to volatile, and quite frankly, he sounds like he has no control over his emotions or behavior. A guy who flies off the handle like that without trying to talk about it first will only grow into a bigger problem down the line. You're looking at a man who might hit you in a few years, have children with other women, and is an overall arse.

    Leave, and don't look back. I realize you care deeply about him, you'll hurt for a long time, and every so often you'll want to run back and ask him to be with you. But you'll always feel stressed and insecure, wondering what will set him off next, whether or not he'll leave again this time, wondering how long before he cheats on you, wondering if he already cheated on you– if he was serious about you, he wouldn't have done any of this. He's not serious about being with you because he respects and wants -you-, he's with you because he wants a relationship, and he wants a nice looking girl who gives him the emotional security and convenience provided by being in a relationship. If he loved you as a person, as much as you love him, he wouldn't cheat, he wouldn't blow up in anger so quickly, and he wouldn't blame you irrationally.

    You don't want a guy who only loves the -idea- of you. Back out of the dating scene, and develop some respect for yourself. Learn how to stand on your own without a man. When you gain confidence in yourself, you'll attract a guy who will treat you properly, and care for you like a loving partner should. Hang in there, and hold strong, it'll take a while but you'll feel so much better when you let him go, and get rid of the stress he creates.

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  • I WILL DUMP HIM FOR You IF You NEED ME TOO I CAN ALSO BEAT HIM UP. omg if you stay with him that will be the biggest mistake ever. you deserve better than that and clearly he isn't treating you right. in my oppinion the other girl rejected him and is using you as a back up. LEAVE HIM!

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  • huh?

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