Is it bad that I "dont have any standards"?

Some girl told me that not to long ago. She says she sees me check out a lot of girls. Pretty much anything average and above - full check too lol. She asked me what preferences I have - I said not really any. I said any girl can pretty much be gold. Id just be happy getting anyone who liked me lol. that's when she laughed and told me I need to raise them a little.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Well, you say, "I'd be happy getting anyone who liked me". I don't know if you really mean that, or if you're sort of joking, but to me, a statement like that is more or less saying that you don't really value yourself. You deserve a partner who is compatible with you and treats you well. If your only standard for dating or having a relationship with someone is that they like you, you aren't really giving any consideration to what you'd like in a partner and what kind of partner would be a good match for you. If that's true, it's not a very healthy mindset to have and not likely to lead to happy, healthy relationships for you.

    I think it's good to be open-minded to different people and it's fine to find a wide variety of women attractive (or if you're the type of person who puts less emphasis on physical attractiveness). That said, you shouldn't sell yourself short in terms of finding someone who is a good match for you and who treats you well.

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What Girls Said 13

  • It is bad to not have –any– standards at all. The "standards" are to weed out what you don't want:

    Do you want a drug addict?

    Do you want an alcoholic?

    Do you mind if she sleeps around a lot, and will likely cheat on you?

    Will it be okay if she has STDs that will transmit to you?

    Is it alright if she already has a baby?

    She used to be a he, and can bench you with one hand.

    Do you care that she has a kink for asphyxiating her bed partner?

    She think's the best way to get a man in line is to smack him up a bit, are you down with that?

    She's got horrendous gas problems, and thinks it's cute to sit in your lap and let one rip... do you?

    This is why people set standards. We know what we -don't- want to end up with, so we draw a line between minimum requirements and those that don't make it.

    Chances are you have some standards, but haven't made them clear to yourself yet.

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  • We all have standards whether we recognize it or not. The qualities that draws you to a girl, those are your standards

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  • You may not have a physical preference but you do have a standards she has to like you and you have to like here and I’m shore if you find her you will want here to like the things you like or it would be boring lol but not having a physical type is not a bad thing I have dated fat skinny tall short blond brunet guys but I know what kind of person I want but no real type of appearance

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  • You might just be more open to meeting all kinds of people. As you get to know them, you'll notice things that stand out good and bad and will help shape your feelings for that person. I don't think keeping your options broad initially is a bad thing

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  • Yeah, when guys don't have standards, that's usually how they end up settling for selfish, self absorbed bitches who cheat on them, use them, and break their hearts. I've seen it happen way too many times!

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  • Sure if you don't mind girls that use you

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  • I'd say it's better to be less picky...better odds for finding someone.

    In saying that it could bruise a girls ego if they are the one that gets picked only to figure out that the bar is set so low.

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  • No a lot of guys are like that one comedian was like :I only have 3 standards #1 are you alive

    2 are you a girl,#3 if not can you keep a secret

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  • No you just are open minded

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  • Well I think it is kind of bad.

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  • considering you have never had a girlfriend, you are unattractive and you have never even asked out a girl I guess someone as desperate as you would have to take anything

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    • lmao go for a fckn run

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    • Oh never mind. I didn't see all of the comments. I don't want to get between you two a**holes. I already have one of my own, thanks.

    • its YOU'RE good. maybe spelling or women isn't your calling. try something you are actually good at

  • If the girls are average and above then how does that mean you don't have any standards. That just means you have an appreciation for a broad variety of girls. I don't see that as a bad thing. Maybe that girl is a bit jealous that you aren't checking for her or not only her if you have.

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  • Not bad at all and she was probably just joking.

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    • dont think she was..

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    • lol no not at all

    • Then why?

What Guys Said 5

  • Yes and no, depends on how you look at it. I hold myself to high standards first and foremost and since I'm a one woman, relationship kind of guy, I tend to set high standards for the women that come into my life because I'm not looking for multiple partners, one night stands, or short term stuff. But I also set high standards for anybody who I choose to spend a lot of time with. My best friends meet my standards, many other people don't though. The guys I've seen who have no standards and will f*** anyhow that has long hair and a vagina are usually completely douchebag idiots. I'm not saying you are, I'm saying that perhaps you need to set women aside and work on yourself. In other comments, you said you're desparate. Are you emphasizing your lack of women so much in life that you'd label yourself desperate and would be happy with ANY girl that walks by? Work on yourself first, set high standards for yourself and strive to live up to them and once you have, set standards for others in your life. I hope I'm not coming off as some know it all, I'm not trying to attack you and say you need help, this is just the way I look at it. Some good answers here, except for the anonymous chick that attacked you lol.

    P.S.: A wise and powerful woman once told me that there are no such thing as standards, we simply attract those people in our lives that are most like who we are, who share the same values and operate on the same frequencies .

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  • Well, it's kind of a double-bind in that some girls will claim almost any standards are too high, and then others will claim that guys will find any hole to stick his junk in.

    I think it's good to have wide-open standards in terms of being fair to women. But at the same time, that places you in a bind in that almost any girl you date will have higher standards. Girls will almost always be the ones ending the relationship in that case, leaving you with the brunt of the blow. Thinking "well she was perfectly fine, I must not have been good enough!"

    You might find that you're happy with her and who she is, simply because she likes you, but then you might get girls who don't reciprocate, or have you running in circles just to keep them around.

    Don't make that mistake. Not like I did. I was fine with whoever she was, and she had high standards. It quickly turned into manipulation that left me feeling as though everything I was doing was wrong.

    I guess it's one of those things that's hard to change on your own, and only really changes if you get burned. So my advice would be to raise your standards for your own health. If any girl will do, girls will all seem like angels and you'll place them on a pedestal, leaving you with little more than feelings of incompetence, self-blame, and confusion.

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    • May I say, "That's horrible to go through!" and that I quite agree. Some women can be downright vicious and manipulative (though I guess some guys can be too), and not having set standards at least for personality and character might lead you unsuspectingly into their grasp.

  • I don't really think she had any business saying that. Then again she was probably trying to see if she had any qualities that you liked. Girls have a weird way of testing guys, it's bs.

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  • is this question a joke? You have to ask others if its bad to not have standards? Is it bad not having a brain? That's what you should be much more worried about!

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  • When it comes to sex I have pretty loose standards, I just like to f*** girls in general from pretty average to pretty girls. But when it comes to a girlfriend, I have high standards.

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