I got out of a pretty rough relationship. It was emotionally draining And my ex was emotionally and verbally abusive. However, sometime after the relationship ended I started dating this extremely sweet and sensitive guy. The only problem is he drives me crazy! He's always either driving me crazy by being so emotional or being so sugary sweet that I want to throw up! I'm not looking for a macho guy, I just want to be with someone who lets me be the girl. Instead I feel like he beats me to it. The worst thing about this situation is I was his first and I definitely don't want to break his heart. I just feel like he should be with someone who likes to be extremely emotional like him. Am I being totally cold and insensitive to his feelings? I have no clue what to do. I wonder if my past relationship just left me totally indifferent.
Most Helpful Guy
A drama king can be quite a burden. The problem is that you don't really want a man. You want validation of yourself and your femininity. The root problem is that you don't feel like you can stand on it as is. You're insecure about it, and want someone to acknowledge it and validate it for you. But you went from a brute who took advantage of it and made you feel ashamed of it to a wuss who makes you resentful of it upon seeing someone else with an exaggerated/distorted version of it. I'd start by asking why you feel you need your girlhood validated in the first place? When did you first become insecure about it? Who made you doubt that others are capable of respecting your womanhood?
It won't kill him to tell him if he's trying too hard. He probably wants validation that he is capable of being loved, desperately enough to smother you to get it. I too want that validation, though I'm less likely to smother.
In relationships, I am usually subjected to neglect, betrayal, being used, and ultimately being demonized and abandoned. He probably has a similar history, and wants to overcome it.3