Am I growing cold and indifferent?

I got out of a pretty rough relationship. It was emotionally draining And my ex was emotionally and verbally abusive. However, sometime after the relationship ended I started dating this extremely sweet and sensitive guy. The only problem is he drives me crazy! He's always either driving me crazy by being so emotional or being so sugary sweet that I want to throw up! I'm not looking for a macho guy, I just want to be with someone who lets me be the girl. Instead I feel like he beats me to it. The worst thing about this situation is I was his first and I definitely don't want to break his heart. I just feel like he should be with someone who likes to be extremely emotional like him. Am I being totally cold and insensitive to his feelings? I have no clue what to do. I wonder if my past relationship just left me totally indifferent.


Most Helpful Guy

  • A drama king can be quite a burden. The problem is that you don't really want a man. You want validation of yourself and your femininity. The root problem is that you don't feel like you can stand on it as is. You're insecure about it, and want someone to acknowledge it and validate it for you. But you went from a brute who took advantage of it and made you feel ashamed of it to a wuss who makes you resentful of it upon seeing someone else with an exaggerated/distorted version of it. I'd start by asking why you feel you need your girlhood validated in the first place? When did you first become insecure about it? Who made you doubt that others are capable of respecting your womanhood?

    It won't kill him to tell him if he's trying too hard. He probably wants validation that he is capable of being loved, desperately enough to smother you to get it. I too want that validation, though I'm less likely to smother.

    In relationships, I am usually subjected to neglect, betrayal, being used, and ultimately being demonized and abandoned. He probably has a similar history, and wants to overcome it.

    • you've got your explanation of him perfect, I should know, I was that kind of guy with my first girlfriend, and it drove her COMPLETELY NUTS! and you'r way of taking care of it is right too, validation that he can be loved. that's what fixes it like 99% of the time

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What Guys Said 4

  • I don't think you are being insenitive. The fact that he is a nice guy makes your situation a little more difficult but you need to have emotional support of you own and feeling tired of being the emotional rock is perfectly normal. You need to find a nice guy that can control his emotions in a adult like manner. It is OK for men to be a little emotional as long as they can keep it in check and take care of your needs first. If you have already talked to you Boyfriend about needing him to man up and he is incable of change then you need to move on, if not you will learn to resent everything about him over time.

  • Damn its the fact that you went from something so bad to someone so nice. Many of the questions on here have to do with COMMUNICATION! communicate with the guy, tell him how you feel and see how he responds. There is no real nice way to end a relationship, there's always going to be broken hearts and hurt feelings. Before breaking it off try working it out first and see if he can tone it down a bit. Talk to him, otherwise he won't know how to or what to fix. I hope for the best and Good luck

  • Nah, you just went from a sour grape to a Hershey's Kiss. Neither one is suitable for a relationship. Tell him he's a good guy, but you don't feel a connection. Therefore, it has to end so he can find someone who will feel that way about him.

  • Both of you need to look at yourselves.

    Him - Too sweet is sickly. The stronger he is emotionally, the better the world will be.

    You - Are you sure this is not a rebound thing? If it is, get out now (for everyone's sake)! If not, tell him the above to his face. Men understand straight-forwardness and generally can't deal with inuendos.

    Good luck!


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