Is the advice that in order to find love you must love yourself wrong?

I feel like I genuinely like myself as a person. I'm nice and have a lot of friends and I am cute. I've been told this by many people, so I know its true. However when it comes to finding love and dating I seem to repel guys from me. What am I doing wrong?

Updates:
Well I don't talk to much but sometimes fumble for words to say. I'm normally fine with guy that I am friends with, but anything on a romantic level I just find it hard to know what to say. Flirting is fun, but I can never seem to go beyond that to dating or even just something physical (kissing).

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I consider it wrong, but that's just me being contrary.

    I don't love myself, and I won't. I think it has more to do with being comfortable with yourself and caring enough to do regular upkeep (feel good, look good, be happy).

    Pretty miserable to be around someone who strictly hates themselves and acts accordingly, dating would be even worse.

    But I think a person can get by with understanding and accepting who they are without going as far as to love themselves. I'm mostly content. While I'd like to change a few things about myself - and I actively will if it's not just a trivial thing to me - I'm pretty satisfied with where I'm at. And as far as I can tell, nobody sees the difference. Pull a little charisma out of my hat and keep up my regular attitude, and most guys I meet seem to find it attractive. I can only speak for myself, though.

    As for you, you may find that this advice is true or necessary or whatever anybody else says. You might not. Either way, it's how you carry yourself and conduct yourself in addition to how you treat and respect yourself.

    There are guys out there, you're just in a rut, I think. I was the same way, and my sister is going through that very thing right now. Keep your chin up and don't let it discourage you. Just know you're awesome and keep on truckin'. When it rains, it pours. It'll get better.

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What Guys Said 4

  • It's wrong to me. Some people take that advice and only pretend to love themselves to gain acceptance when they really don't feel that way. You should love yourself because it's really all that anyone has. It's the most important person you should receive love from.

    Just be yourself. Don't say anything to impress guys.

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  • Do you talk to much? You didn't give a lot of info but I find that girls that are cute but talk too much are just annoying. Give an update on how you would go on a date ^^

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  • not wrong at all. I firmly believe there is no other way to go about it.

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  • It's not wrong. It is necessary.

    But it's not the *only* thing you need.

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What Girls Said 2

  • You probably are unconsciously giving off a negative aura. Don't text too much, smile and look into their eyes, and touch them. Tease them like hell and pretend you have not a clue that you're teasing them. Hint that they'll get some from you, but don't give it until you see the behavior that you want. Also, make sure you're clear that when you're hanging out, it's a date. Some guys will be self-concious if they're not sure it's a date. Be more clear with your body signals: no crossed arms or legs, leave your mouth open a little bit, smile & laugh a lot, sit up straight shoulders back belly in boobs out, head up (prevents a double chin), make sure your hair is always shiny & clean, dress sexy but not slutty.

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  • The advice is correct. You are just interpreting it wrong. You have to love yourself before you can find love because if you don't love yourself, why should the guy love you? Just because you love yourself doesn't mean that bam! The magic boyfriend fairy appears and immediately presents you with a man. No, it means that now you are ready to BEGIN searching for the right guy. The right guy will come along, but not if you concentrate on it or set a time limit.

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