Is my girlfriend shady or am I just paranoid?

[Anonymous]

I've been with my girlfriend for about 8 months and we are in a very loving relationship. While we do fight sometimes, I think we get along for the most part.

We are both 24 and have talked about marriage and kids. We are very serious about each other.

Anyway, to make a long story short, I can't figure out if my girlfriend is shady or I am just paranoid.

About 2 months ago ( we were together 6 months at this point) she got a text from a guy she used to hook up with years ago. He sent her a naked picture out of the blue and was trying to hook up with her. I was randomly by her phone when he sent it.

She claimed he randomly sent it and she told him she had a boyfriend, etc. She said it wasn't a big deal. But I made me wonder...if they hooked up years ago why he he randomly send that phone and text her...years later?

There is this other guy that texts her all the time -- late at night around 10 or 11 -- and she always texts him back. Apparently he has a girlfriend, but if he does why does he text my girlfriend when we are together in bed or about to go to sleep?

It really bothers me. I've never met this guy and she never plans on introducing us. Apparently they were old friends or whatever.

My girlfriend and I spend a lot of time together, but her shady texting business is driving me crazy. Am I paranoid about this or is there something wrong with random dudes -- who I've never met -- texting her late at night?

Help please!

Thanks!

[Anonymous]

Well my opinion is that she is being shady. There was this guy that I used to be friends with and always felt like he wanted more, I hadn't talked to him in a while and one night he randomly texted me and at first I was just being polite but quickly realized what he wanted so I ended the conversation. The next time, weeks later, that he texted me, I just didn't reply. Out of respect for my boyfriend who I love, I'm not going to keep talking to that guy so I won't feel mean or impolite; I'm not dumb, I know what he wants, and I feel that it's inappropriate to encourage him if I have a boyfriend. Your girlfriend isn't dumb, I'm sure she knows that these guys want more than pure friendship if they keep texting her late at night, sending d*** pics, when they know she has a boyfriend. If she had respect for you she would've ended the texting back and forth with them...you're not overreacting. Talk to her and tell her the exact same scenario with the roles reversed (girls are sending you pics of their boobs, texting you late at night, and you text them back while you're in bed with her...and try to get her to see how it's wrong).

[acka72]

You are not wrong in being paranoid. Personally, I would never get married to a guy who'd be doing the same thing. You should be very careful because this is what I call the female predator succubous vampire: She lacks the self esteem and confidence to be genuinely intimate with anybody so she forms a "loving relationship" (includes marriage, kids etc) with a guy she doesn't genuinely love and then she cheats the hell out of him by texting, having sex with etc with other guys who can see through her sh*t and just treat her as the skank that she is. So be careful and don't marry her and these are clear warning signs that you should go out and date more and get to know women better before you are destroyed.

[sarcasticbella]

the naked pic could be nothing but I don't know. You shouldn't blame her for what the guy did, he might very well be the type of weirdo who would send an old flame a naked pic.

As far as the texting late at night, id ask her for some clarification on that. You don't want to pry but this is a trust issue and if its bothering you that much ask to see her messages, if she refuses to show you then it might be cause for concern. But before you start trying to invade her privacy think about what you'll lose if you stop trusting her and ask yourself, has she ever given you a reason to distrust her before

[Anonymous]

Umm.. did you tell her that this bothers you? Your not paranoid.. she shouldn't be texting other guys late at night or at all for that matter when she has a boyfriend. You guys have been together for 8 months.. don't you think its about time she start cutting some guys off? Or is that normal in your relationship to text random people of the opposite gender.

I think the text that guy sent could of been an isolated incident although it does seem odd. Just don't be niave and discuss your concerns.

[LondonQueen]

shady