So I was dating this guy for over 2 years. However, about a year and a half in we started fighting a lot and my feelings for him seemed to have faded. He introduced me to a friend. I ended up having really strong feelings for his friend. As terrible as it is I liked him a lot. So I finally got up the courage to leave the guy I was with and I explained things to his friend (me and him friend got really close before this) His friend told me that he didn't feel the same way but he might if he got to know me more. Since then I told my Ex maybe there was a chance we could work on things because after a lot, I still missed him. But when we tried to hang out and work on it, he kissed me and it almost felt wrong like I was cheating on his friend even though we weren't together. Now that I've told my ex we are strictly friends...i miss him again. I can't keep up with both boys. One doesn't care about me the way I want him too but I still like him and the other is fed up with my back and forth and cares about me but I'm not sure if I really care about him...
I'm massively confused =/ Help?
What Guys Said 1
I'm going to be harsh here. Please don't be offended, but what I'm saying is the truth...What you're doing is completely wrong. Your actions of going back and forth have wrongfully hurt your boyfriend of two years and he deserves better.
The question you have to ask yourself is what do you want? Do you want a long term relationship? Nothing serious? Just a fling? Lets go through this.
If you want a long-term relationship, leading to marriage, etc, your boyfried of 2 years is not the guy for you. You've only been together for two years and you're thinking about another guy, even one that's a friend of his (which is low). Even if you would work things out now, how could you make it work in the future? It won't because you don't care for him like you should. If you did, this other guy wouldn't have got your attention. What would eventually happen is you would leave him, or worse, cheat on him. With that being the case, I can't see this relationship working out without either one of you hurting anymore or wasting time.
As for the other guy, its hard to say, but point is, at the moment he doesn't see you in romantic light and you're at a strong disadvantage because he is unlikely to betray his friend (your ex). If he gets to know you more, maybe he will eventually develop feelings for you, but as for now he doesn't. The way you describe it, it actually sounds like he's conflicted as well, as if another girl is involved. Not sure on that, but it wouldn't be farfetched.
I don't know if you should persue your ex''s friend, but you need to let your ex go. You've shown you don't care for him like you should and he deserves a chance to go find someone who does. Stop stringing hm along...its disrespectful on your part and right now the only reason you're holding on to him is because he's a second resort if his friend doesn't work out. Use your head...how would you feel if your boyfriend of two years developed feelings for one of your friends and places you on the back burner? It sucks...Ive been there.
On top of that, you're worried that you're cheating on the other guy when you're forgetting that you've spent TWO years with your bf...if you are cheating, don't you think its more on him? I hope you haven't cheated, because that is the ultimate low.
I wish you the best with your situation, but I think you need to wake up and understand your (ex) bf's feelings.2
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