im a single mom of two boys. they will soon be 2 and 4. I haven't actually tried to really date anyone since their dad and I broke up. its been almost a year. but I was wondering, is it really harder for a single mom of two to find someone to be with? do guys like girls that have children? if not, why? if so, why? what do guys think when they see a girl with two kids? oh and by the way, I'm 25.
Dating single moms...
What Guys Said 1
Guys normally don't like a woman with kids, they usually either don't like it or tolerate it, especially guys in their 20s. I've dated a girl that had one kid and it didn't really bother me because I want to have kids someday and I'm getting a little more settled down. If you are going to start dating again then better invest in a good babysitter though because most guys' expectations of a first date isn't just sitting at your house watching spongebob with the kids.0
What Girls Said 1
To be honest...its not easy for either...the mom, the guy or the kids. There's a lot to consider...
Being a single mom, you have to keep in mind that a guy isn't just dating you, he's dating your kids, and if he breaks your heart...its actually 3 hearts he's breaking if the kids get attached to him too. For that reason, I was always guarded over who met my daughter. And its still hard...shes gone through a divorce with me, and through a long term relationship that ended badly. She's now very attached to my boyfriend that I've been with for 2 years...I worry a lot over how it will affect her if we split. She's never met any random guys inbetween though. Its the least I could do.
For the guy, its a huge responsibility..even if you aren't looking for a father for your kids, he will feel that way...its not about the two of you..its about the 4 of you...thats intimidating!
I found that when I was in my 20's...I hardly found any guys my age who were interested in actually being serious with me. They just weren't ready or up for the challenge..and I didn't hold it against them. I took it for what it was and they didn't have anything to do with my daughter. Older men were all about me though...the drawback to younger guys that I'm a ready made family was like a bonus for older guys, especially if they didn't have kids of their own. All the older guys I dated had dreams of taking care of me and my daughter and being a family etc...and were disappointed when I kept putting off letting them meet.
So yeah...Id eitehr meet the younger guys who freaked as soon as they found out I was a mom and decided it would be sex only...or older guys who were ecstatic and already planning out where we would get married and raise our family.
My guy now..never wanted kids, and went through a loto f inner turmoil when he fell in love with me...he avoided single moms for a reason. Its been 2 years now and he's getting more and more used to it...but he's still not all the way there. I'm still threading cautiously...0
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