How would you react if your boyfriend/girlfriend told you to cut off friendship with your opposite gender friends?

For example you are a guy and you have close female friends (true ones) and then you get a girlfriend and she is jealous of you having female friends, and she gives you an ultimatum on stop talking and spending time with those friends...what would you do?

  • I stop talking to my opposite gender's friends
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  • This is a deal breaker to me, so I break up with my girlfriend/boyfriend inmediatly!
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  • I try to explain him/her that they are only friends, and that I'm not going to leave them and I hope that she can understand it. If she/he insist then... breakup
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  • I accepted this situation in the past, and I regret it
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  • I accepted this situation in the past, and I don't regret it
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And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • What has worked out for me has been to mix them. My boyfriend is jealous and he's insecure about the guys I talk to or the guys I seldom see, like for a coffee or a tea. What I do is let my boyfriend ask me anything about them or my relation with the other guys. If he's still paranoid, then I'll arrange some meeting or hang out where they have the chance to interact and chat.

    That's how he started getting along with my best guy friend. Then they spent so much time talking and laughing I was barely present haha. Now they get along nicely and don't miss a chance to meet when my best friend comes to the city. I have no problem at introducing friend to my boyfriend, so that he knows and they know that our relationship is fine.

    I don't request to meeting his female friends, but he doesn't have any, and the one female friend he has kept for a long time (his ex), is really outside any of my fears because they don't interact mucho.

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What Girls Said 12

  • Talk it out, if they didn't compromise I'd drop him. I used to be with a jealous partner, never again.

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  • I would hope they would understand that they were my best friends and I loved them too much to stop hanging out and talking with them and I would make sure I didn't hang out with them one on one or anything and try and let him be there when I did hang with them as kinda a compromise, but if he just couldn't accept it then I might have to break up with them.

    Also although I am personally the jealous type I couldn't ask my guy to just totally cut off any of his friends. I might ask him to do what I said I would do though(not hanging out one on one and let me-or other guy friends- be there when he was hanging out with him).

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  • i'd could understand if he was my husband...but we're just dating? there's no guarantee we will last beyond the next week. dating and boyfriend/girlfriend is so fickle, I'd never give up a permenant friend for a temporary dude.

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    • Also, in the case of a husband/wife, it should have said earlier, that is why I consider good idea to present your friends from opposite gender, early on, to a person your dating.

  • I'd never give a boyfriend an ultimatum to stop associating with any of his friends, male or female. That's selfish and immature. Friends are important in a person's life. If I really did feel uncomfortable at all, I'd mention it to both of them, but would never try to ruin a friendship. I'd just get over it, unless there were signs that there was something going on between those people... then I'd just walk away if it really became a problem for my relationship with the guy.

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  • I am super close with a bunch of guys, they are my best friends, so if my boyfriend wanted me to stop talking to them I would explain to him they are my best friends, and they are not going anywhere, if he still wanted me to choose I would choose my guy friends every time, I love them, they are like brothers to me.

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    • I totally get what your saying, I'm exactly the same with my guy friends. :)

  • Badly, to say the least, this is indicative of a needy, clingy, compulsive relationship, something I am NOT big on. If explaining that they are only friends doesn't work, and this kind of behavior continues then its break up city for us.

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  • I hardly have guy friends. I've got one single guy friend and he's 13 years older then me. But I only hang out with him when my best girl friend is around. He wanted to date me before I met my current boyfriend. But I just said let's just be friends and now we're good friends. There are some times that I'll be just with him alone for awhile and it's cool.

    My boyfriend is totally fine with it and I'm fine with him being friends with girls (at least ones he already knows). If he were to just meet another girl now, I'd wonder if something was up.

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  • I would just tell them no, because they're my friends and they have been there for me. Especially if I knew them before I met the boy. I wouldn't cut my social life just for him.

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  • I had this problem with my ex-boyfriend and I tried to reason with him but it backfired when he told me he didn't like me hanging out with anybody from his school regardless of gender except his best friend. I dumped him right then and there and because I did, I found my current best friend and my current boyfriend :)

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  • I did this in the past but then found out my ex was right the guys I was friends with were really just trying to get in my pants.

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    • are you sure absolutely all of them?

      because its not always like that

    • Yeah the guys that he asked me to stop talking to ended up all being pigs that had a bet as to who could get me to sleep with them while my ex and I were together.

    • umm, I see. that was ill luck : / for getting to meet more than one pig in a streak.

      well is not odd as many men are pigs, and many women are witches.

      i hope you don't start distrusting all guys, as happens to some women (and men who start distrusting all women and are mysoginistic for the fault of a b-itch)

  • I'll tell him that I'll do it if he does it too, or else leave that f*cking idea alone.

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  • I'm married and we both felt that it would be weird if we had friends of the opposite gender and the other person didn't know them. I know all of his female friends and I'm good friends with them, they call me if they wanna go do something and same with my male friends, they probably call him more than they call me. I never meet my male friends alone and he never meets his female friends alone.. I don't see anything wrong with that and neither does he.

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What Guys Said 8

  • I would break up with her, period end of story. I have friends that are girls, girls I have known for over 10 years. If she isn't OK with that, then she isn't worth my time

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  • She wouldn't need to tell me because I already know better.

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  • I had a jealous girlfriend once, what a...

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  • DROP KICK HER IN THE FACE!

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  • I've not been in that situation, but if I do it a kind of "Get the f*** over it. I'm going out with you aren't I?"

    Why is it some people have to controlling to the point they think they can manage my relationships and friendships for me...? Tough sh*t, my life, stuff you.

    I would speak nicer about this subject but I've seen some stupid stuff going on, and need it off my chest.

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  • I'd try to make her understand and if she didn't then I'd say bye to her

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  • I know that women think: "He is a male, therefore he cheats and wants to sleep with every girl he knows."

    But the truth is far from that. I have good amount of female friends, and I don't have any sexual interest in them. If I did I would have fessed up and asked her out. and if my girlfriend has male friends I'm okay with it, hang out do whatever you want as long as you aren't kissing, holding hands, or doing anything esle more extreme then hugging.

    Now, I've never had a FWB because I think its stupid and if I'm going to have sex with a girl, she HAS to be in a commited relationship with me. No grey area.

    However I've had gfs who told me to not even look in the general direction of another girl, they where that strict because they didn't have trust. Of course, they would not have it if I tried to tell them the same.

    It all boils down to trust, if you can't trust a partner to be faithful, then don't be with them. Same goes for if your partner can't trust you, just get rid of them and find someone else...

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    • exactly what I think, why the heck is someone going to date someone they don't trust, & if they don't trust anyone, then they should work on their issues before going into the dating world.

      Also what I think is this:

      : if you don't trust a person, and forbid it to hang out with the opposite gender, they still can cheat you, except they are going to be more cautious, so it will take you longer to find out, with isn't good. and if that person is innocent you are going to hurt that person .

  • Friend of the opposite gender or friend of the opposite gender? I have guy friends that are pretty damn feminine (opposite gender of masculine) but they are of the same sex, and I have female friends that are pretty damn masculine but are of the opposite gender.

    Either way, I will tell my girlfriend that if she can't handle who I am friends with, then I don't think this will work out between us. She doesn't have to like my friends, but must respect my decision to have them as a friend.

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    • Friends of the opposite gender or friends of the opposite gender**

    • wtf, each time I go and type in the word S.E.X. it comes out as gender

    • I should say each time I go and type the word opposite in front of the word s.e.x. it comes out at gender... Try it again... opposite gender.

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