Why can't a girl just be friends with a guy?

I had a thing with this girl for a few months and we really liked each other but I decided that I didn't want a girlfriend at the time so I called it off just before we could of initiated (cold feet?) and I told her I didn't want a girlfriend and it wouldn't be right for me at the time due to circumstances I cbf explaining now but she understood.

but yeah we didn't talk for about 3 months and she seemed pretty shattered about it all. Anyway after about 6 months (a few months ago) she started talking to me again and we became good friends and she would say how good of a friend I am to her and stuff like that. She would tell me about troubles she had with boys at the time and asked me for advice on them and how they are all d***heads and why she's alone and how she's fat and ugly because she can't find a decent guy being a typical girl etc. When ever she described the kind of guy she wanted it sounded like she described me.

Then not so long ago we were talking and I said I'm single girls don't want me ha ha she says "you could get any girl you want, you just want to stay single" and I said nah I've been looking for a while no luck yet though. Ever since then she's been flirting like crazy and its kinda ruined the whole friendship thing we had. I liked it when I could open up to her, you can't do that with guys. Why do girls take any chance they can get to get in relationship?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • It's not about taking any chance you can get to be in a relationship with any guy. It's about taking a chance to be with the guy you are in love with. She obviously has something for you and when you like someone a lot then it's bound to happen. That's why I never stay friends with guys who have rejected me because I don't want the emotions to come back. She probably thought that she was over you but now realizes she's not. I'd suggest that you don't respond to any flirting whatsoever and I'd even go as far as saying try and keep your contact to the minimum for now otherwise she may get the wrong idea and have her heart broken all over again. As for your main question "Why can't a girl just be friends with a guy?". Well they can, I have many guy friends who I certainly do not want a relationship with. It's just that sometimes a thing called love happens and you don't plan on it. Girls and guys can very much be friends but that will only be successful if one partner has no feelings for the other.

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What Girls Said 5

  • its not that girls take any chance they can to get into a relationship, girls can be friends with guys, but it all comes down to the nature of the situation and the initial stages upon meeting the opposite gender are very critical. Every scenario is different. In your case, you had a THING with her in the beginning, and for 3 months! so she fell for you. You led her on and she fell for you and she likes your personality and is attracted to you, and then after 3 months, you change your mind that you just wanna be friends. Imagine how crushed she feels? and let down, and her esteem shattered, she's probably wondering like what she did to turn you off? and why the inconsistency, like what made you flirt the first 3 months, then suddenly stop after? and it gets worse- now that you both are talking again, now it's okay for you to tell her "I've been looking for a while no luck yet though" That just made me wanna cry just by reading it. It's like you just confirmed to her that you rejected her, because you do want a girlfriend just not HER. good job. You led someone on, and you ask why you can't be just friends? People aren't toys you know.

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    • hangon calm down, I think you interpreted it wrong. we had a thing for a few months we liked each other etc I got cold feet because at the time I had sh*t going on didn't want commitment at the time. then after I turned her down about 6 months later we talk again, we turn into good friends. Now explain to me why she is allowed to talk about how she's gonna meet up with other guys and the stuff she does with other guys, but as soon as I mention it I have to all of a sudden ask her out?

  • lol, how long have been on this site? all the guys on here do is bitch about being constantly "friendzoned" by girls.

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  • "Why she's alone and how she's fat and ugly because she can't find a decent guy being a typical girl etc."

    Honestly, she seems to be going through a tough time.

    "When ever she described the kind of guy she wanted it sounded like she described me."

    Well sir, YOU broke up with her and broke her heart. Remember you were in a relationship with her.

    "Ever since then she's been flirting like crazy and its kinda ruined the whole friendship thing we had."

    She really likes you!

    "Why do girls take any chance they can get to get in relationship?"

    Because girls want romance like guys want sex. It's not all of us but that's what a lot of us want. Because there's a difference between being attracted to someone and wanting to be their friend. EXTREMELY RARE for me to hear a faded crush becoming friends again.

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  • I'm getting a bit upset for the girl. Are you trying to turn her down?

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  • Most girls can be just friends

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What Guys Said 3

  • You told her you liked her but were staying single only because you didn't want a girlfriend.

    You then later said you were ready for a girlfriend.

    You are surprised to find she wants to be that girlfriend.

    WTF is wrong with you.

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    • Show All
    • You should be very clear you'd expect to be sexual right away with any girlfriend. She'll either back off or surprise you.

    • i don't want her as my girlfriend, we wouldn't be good together anymore

  • Its cause she likes you and doesn't want to mess up the friendship (why she came back)

    And do you think before you got cold feet, you gave her some signals that you liked her but after you got cold feet she was confused because it seemed to her that you liked her?

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    • she knew I liked her but I don't know I didn't want commitment at the time

    • Guy above me is right.

      You showed feelings. And then went AWOL

  • women chase commitments like men chase sex. they get one, have some fun then through it away for the new shiny one. Then repeat.

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